Boys South of the Mason Dixon ~ Abbi Glines Read online

“Momma, let’s just leave him alone,” Bray said. He was the only one brave enough to say something like that to Momma. Except for me, and I wasn’t speaking.

  Momma turned to glare down the table at Bray who was now looking like a little boy with his hand in the cookie jar. I would’ve laughed, if I wasn’t so fucked up. Dallas and Brent both snickered. They knew what was coming next.

  “I don’t recall asking you what to do. I carried him for nine months and through ten hours of labor. Then I cleaned his nasty butt, nursed him when he was sick, held his hand while he got stitches, and let him puke all over me whenever he got food poisoning. So do not tell me what I can and can’t do. If and when I want to know about one of my boys, I will ask and get an answer. And you might be next, so shut your mouth and eat your breakfast. You’re in my house.”

  Bray dropped his head and replied meekly, “Yes, ma’am.”

  Momma swung her attention back to me. “Now, last time I checked, you kicked that sweet Dixie Monroe to the curb, without even a backwards glance. Wouldn’t say a word or look at her. I was worried about you getting too serious. You were young, so I didn’t push it. But three years have passed and when you should be attached to some girl you’ve met at college by now, you’re back here still looking heartbroken. Ain’t right. Don’t make sense to me. When a man looks like you, he has women beating down his door. But you’re alone. Explain that to me! It has to be you pushing them away. Steel loves that girl. He’s bought her a ring God knows he can’t afford, and now he’s broken up with her two days after you get home. I smell shit. S.H.I.T.”

  I glanced down the table at Bray, but he was eating and not looking our way. Momma had put him in his place. Brent was watching us with worry in his eyes. He knew I couldn’t tell Momma the truth. They all did, but not one of them was trying to help me out. Suddenly, they were all mute.

  “Maybe, he didn’t love her enough. Enough to fight for her and make sure she was protected from everything that could hurt her. Maybe, he wouldn’t sacrifice his happiness for hers. Maybe . . .” I stopped and stood up. “Momma, I love you, but I can’t talk about this. Not right now,” I said, leaving my plate on the table and heading for the door. If Steel could run out, so could I. Facing Momma right now wasn’t the best idea.

  “You found them letters . . . now, didn’t you?” Momma’s words stopped me as my hand touched the screen. I froze. The letters. If she knew about the letters, then she knew . . .

  What the fuck?

  Turning around, I looked at her and saw the sadness in her eyes. “What letters?” I needed her to spell it out. If she was referring to the letters I found, then she shouldn’t have allowed Steel or me anywhere near Dixie Monroe in the first place.

  “The letters from that woman to your daddy. I didn’t know where he hid them. But three years ago, you found them, didn’t you?” She nodded as if I’d confirmed this. “I wondered once back then when you looked so miserable, but then I thought, no, surely not. If you found something like that, you’d ask me about it, but you never did, so I figured it was something else. Now I see I made a grave mistake.”

  I stared at my mother. She knew. But she . . .”Why would you let us, let me be with Dixie that way if you knew?” I was trying to grasp the fact that my mother knowingly had allowed Steel and myself to commit incest. The fucking world that I knew was warping before me.

  Momma stood up and shook her head. “I’d have never let such a thing happen. That girl ain’t your daddy’s child. Luke Monroe has a paternity test that proves Dixie is his. Millie Monroe was the most beautiful woman in the county and probably the state, too. She could seduce a man like nothing I’d ever seen, but that woman, she was insane. Mentally screwed up, I tell you. She set her sight on your daddy and that meant she eventually got him. Your daddy was a man, that’s the only excuse I got for him back then and now. I forgave him a long time ago. Understand this, he never stopped trying to make it up to me. He did love me, he just let temptation get the best of him. Not the first and definitely not the last man to do that.”

  If my daddy were still alive, I’d go kill him right now. Listening to my momma talk about him being seduced by another woman pissed the hell out of me.

  “When I was gone to the doctor one day, Millie came to the barn and, well . . . she did some things any man would have a hard time refusing. Your daddy made a mistake. Then,” she sighed and added, “Millie came back and did it again a few more times after that. Your daddy was weak, so when Millie got pregnant, we didn’t know if it could be your daddy’s child. He admitted it to me right then. Everything he’d done. I was pregnant with Steel at the time. I had three babies I was taking care of and money was tight, you see. Your daddy used Millie as an escape from the troubles we were going through. I thought I’d leave him for a while, but he was so pitiful, and I loved him very much. It took a couple of years, but I finally forgave him. Anyway, when that little girl was born, I wanted a paternity test. So did your daddy. If that baby was his, we needed to know, but it wasn’t. Dixie was Luke’s. Period.”

  “Holy fuck,” Bray swore, reminding me we weren’t alone, my brothers were still sitting there and listening to every word.

  “Can’t believe I was even born. You shoulda killed him,” Dallas muttered.

  Momma turned around and faced them all. “I loved that man. He loved and adored all of you. He was a good man who had weak moments. He made a mistake and I forgave him. It don’t change the fact you were his whole world. He loved each of you.” Her tone was determined and it showed she meant what she was saying. I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive the man, but he was gone and being mad at him was pointless. In the end, he’d left us all anyway.

  Momma looked back to me. “Where were those letters?” she asked.

  “Loose floorboard in the attic,” I told her.

  She nodded. “I should have checked that place out before I let you move up there. I knew you were sweet on that girl. She looks just like her momma, but she ain’t a thing like her. She’s got her daddy’s heart and Luke Monroe is as good a man as you’ll find. He tried to make it work with Millie, even when he knew she was crazy. Millie ran off and left him with that little girl, and it was the best thing that could’ve happened, both for Dixie and Luke. She didn’t need that woman in her life. She turned out to be a fine young woman. The day I heard Millie had dropped dead out in California, I didn’t even feel pity. I felt nothing but some relief that she’d never try and come back into Dixie’s life. Dixie is a beautiful woman inside and out.” Momma paused, then reached over and squeezed my arm. “A woman your brother loved enough to propose to. Remember that, okay, Asher?”

  Remember that. There was no forgetting.

  I couldn’t sleep. Dixie’s face and the sounds she made while I’d been inside her the first time replayed over and over in my mind. It was a memory that would never grow old. I also wanted to do it again and again until neither of us could walk. I thought being with Dixie couldn’t get any better. I’d been wrong. The sex was life-changing. Feeling her naked against me, her thighs open, their insides pressed against my hips had felt like heaven on earth. Nothing that felt that good could ever be wrong.

  I’d had sex with eight other girls in the past, all of them older than me and with tricks that I hadn’t known until they taught me. I appreciated those lessons. I enjoyed every one of them. I was a guy, so I won’t deny it. That sex was amazing. But none of those experiences had prepared me for how it would feel sliding inside Dixie for the first time, knowing I loved her. I didn’t want to hurt her, I wanted it to be a memory she could cherish forever. I’d been about to explode inside her when her nails dug into my back and she cried my name with a scream. Dixie’s head was thrown back, her body trembling with release, and I could feel her pleasure churning through her body like a twister. I knew from Bray’s stories that virgins didn’t orgasm the very first time, and even though I’d wanted that for Dixie, I didn’t expect it. I just wanted her to enjoy it.

  Wh
ile standing in the middle of my bedroom, I decided to move the furniture. I wanted to bring Dixie up here one evening, maybe next week when Momma was at church and my brothers were all gone. I wanted to be with her, here in my room. The squeaky floor under the bed would be an issue if we ever did it late at night when everyone was here and asleep. I wanted to be with her in a bed and not in the grass for once. She didn’t seem to mind the blanket on the grass by the lake nor did she mind my truck. But she deserved more than that.

  It had been three weeks since we made love the first time, but we’d managed to do it as often as we could since then. Dixie was sore the first few times and I’d been taking it easy with her. But the more we did it, the wilder she was getting. The memory of her begging me last night was giving me a boner. I had those a lot lately just thinking of Dixie.

  The shower would ease me some, but that was always just a short-lived release. I couldn’t seem to get her off my mind even after thrusting my cock into my hand in the shower. I was going to need to wear myself out. I could move furniture, then clean. My room needed it, especially if I was going to bring Dixie up here and make love to her in my bed.

  I moved the bed away from the wall. Then I stepped into the space to make sure the headboard didn’t break because I’d yanked it sideways from the wallboard. The floor beneath my left foot moved and made a soft clunking sound. That had to be the source of the squeak. I looked down at the loose board now catty-cornered under my foot. I hadn’t noticed it when I first moved up here. But then I’d had my bed sitting over this spot all along.

  I squatted, grabbed the board to see if it could be nailed down, but my eyes found something else. Something that had been hidden there for a very long time. I didn’t know that yet, but I was curious. I picked the old shoe box up, anxious to open it, the idea of it being a family heirloom exciting me to no end.

  I sat on the edge of my bed and slowly opened the box. Several letters were inside, folded neatly one on top of the other. I lifted one from the pile and wondered if I should open it, if I had any right to do it. If they contained secrets, maybe those secrets were meant to stay hidden for a reason.

  My curiosity got the best of me. I carefully unfolded the pages. The words were handwritten and as I read them slowly, my world as I knew it began to change. Darkness engulfed me and any joy, any happiness I felt was ripped from me one word at a time. I wanted to stop reading and burn the whole box, watch it catch fire and pretend I ever read any of it . . . but I knew I couldn’t. Every single word was seared into my brain forever. I read every letter, every page. I knew I had to break the heart of the only girl I’d ever love, even if that love was all wrong.

  Dixie Monroe

  SCARLET’S WHITE CAMARO came down my long driveway. I sat in the porch swing watching as she made her way to the house. We hadn’t talked much in the past two days. She seemed to understand that I needed some distance with Asher being back.

  She had no idea how crazy things had gotten.

  When she stopped and her door swung open, I realized that Scarlet might be my best friend, but there were things I just wasn’t ready to talk with her about. I wasn’t telling anyone about this until I got myself mentally prepared to tell Asher that we weren’t related. Once I realized that my daddy was my daddy and that he loved me even more than I’d known, I was left knowing that this horrible secret that made Asher leave me three years ago no longer stood between us.

  Running to him had been the first thing I wanted to do, but then I remembered Steel. I had to deal with Steel first and see where we stood. I had to think about this, think it all over and decide on the right thing to do, so I sat on my porch and listened to my mom humming as she cooked lunch, knowing that I was safe. My life wasn’t about to be pulled from under me. So I had to give myself time to be able to make the right decision.

  Scarlet spoke as she approached, “Since my best friend couldn’t pick up a phone and call me, or heck even text me, I figured I better check on her. The Suttons got you in a tangled web?” She walked up the steps onto the front porch that wrapped around our house. I replied, “Sorry. I’m spending a bit of time with my thoughts,” before patting the empty spot on the swing beside me. “Sit and talk if you’d like.”

  Scarlet flicked her red hair behind her shoulder, smirking and shooting back, “Fine, but only ‘cause you’re sexy,” she teased, before sitting next to me. She gave the swing a big push with her legs, then tucked her knees beneath her chin. “Brent said there’s been some drama.”

  I confirmed, “Yep, you could say that. But right now I want to stay away from it. Try peace for a day or two. I have to talk to Steel, but not just yet.”

  Scarlet sighed. “Please don’t tell me you’re gonna break it off with him. He loves you. Don’t mess it up because of Asher’s sexy ass. He ain’t worth it, Dixie.”

  She didn’t know any of it. But hearing her talk about Asher like he wasn’t worth the fight was hard. Because he was. Well worth it all. Steel did love me and I had to figure out if what I felt for him was love. I knew I was in love with Asher. I adored him. He was everything I wanted. But he was also dangerous, could hurt me so easily, and now he might not want me at all. Steel did. At least I thought he did before he found out about the letters. Now he and Asher would have to know the truth.

  “You talked to Brent today?” I asked wanting to change the subject.

  “Yeah,” she replied, then looked out at the yard. “I also talked to Bray.”

  If she’d talked to Bray, that wasn’t a big deal . . . or it wouldn’t have been if she hadn’t said it like she felt guilty about something. I studied her face for a moment and wondered if I’d been so wrapped up in my own life that I’d missed something important happening in hers.

  “Why did you talk to Bray?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

  She didn’t look at me, but the way her shoulders tensed wasn’t good, not good at all. “Scarlet,” I said, “look at me.”

  “Do you ever wonder what Bray’s thinking? He’s so guarded. He rarely smiles.” She paused and a small smile touched her lips. “But when he does smile, it’s really something.”

  Whoa. This was not good.

  “Scarlet, um, is there something you need to tell me?”

  She released a long sigh, then turned her head toward me and rested her cheek on her knees. “Probably shouldn’t. It’s bad. I’m bad for even thinking it. What kind of person does that? He’s Brent’s twin brother, but they’re so different. Bray’s moody and mysterious and he’s got this sexy, angry look about him that makes me feel funny in my stomach. Do you get what I’m saying?”

  The Sutton boys were trouble. Beautiful trouble. Lots of stinking trouble. And Bray was the worst of them all.

  “Bray isn’t like Brent and that’s a good thing. Brent loves you, while Bray likes all girls, and he especially likes getting blowjobs from them. You’ve heard the stories on how he gets off. Having girls drop to their knees before he gets rough with them. Remember what Jenn said about Bray? How he gagged her and called her names, while he held the back of her head?”

  Scarlet grinned and pressed her lips together. “Yeah, but she also said it was sexy and then she went back for more.”

  What? “Scar, please tell me you’re kidding,” I replied. Nothing about that sounded sexy.

  Scarlet lifted a shoulder and gave a little shrug. “The idea of Bray talking dirty to me while getting off . . . well, it kind of excites me.” She then squeezed her eyes tightly together. “That makes me a slut, doesn’t it? I sound awful just saying that.”

  I had no answer. No right response to give her. I didn’t think that sounded exciting at all. The rumors about Bray and his sexcapades were rampant, not just in Malroy, but throughout the entire county. Girls loved him, but they said he wasn’t sweet and easy. Bray took what he wanted, when he wanted it, and how he wanted it.

  “If Asher,” she said, lowering her voice, “pushed you down to your knees in front of him and shoved his dick
down your throat, telling you that you had a dirty little mouth and called you his bad, naughty girl, saying that you needed to be punished, maybe even spanked, you . . . that wouldn’t turn you on?”

  I couldn’t respond. The idea of being on my knees in front of Asher and being able to bring him pleasure made my heart race and my body feel feverish. Okay, maybe she had a point.

  “But you love Brent. Why would the idea of Bray doing these things excite you?”

  She turned her gaze back toward the yard. She wouldn’t look at me. What wasn’t she telling me? Had I completely missed something important happening in her life? “He’s different. I like it when I can make him smile. He doesn’t smile enough.”

  We were two peas in a pod. Both torn between two Sutton boys. Maybe our reasons were different, but who was I to judge? I wrapped my arm around Scarlet’s shoulders and rested my head against hers. With a shove of my feet, I got us swinging again, then pulled my feet up under me. “Bray can’t be trusted with your heart. You know that, right?” I reminded her.

  She didn’t reply right away. We listened to Mom humming and the sound of the tractor way out in the field. It was peaceful. Until Scarlet replied, “Just like Asher can’t be trusted with yours.”

  She was right, but I hated hearing that. The front door then opened, Mom sticking her head through it and twisting her face toward us to speak, “I have peach cobbler hot from the oven and vanilla ice cream for the top. Y’all want me to bring two bowls?” She then came out the rest of the way and waited for our response. Seeing her smiling blond head, slightly wide hips, and makeup-free face beaming at me with such love and adoration made me want to get up and hold her for hours just because she was there. She wasn’t what the world would consider beautiful, but to me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Especially where it counted the most. She’d loved a little girl who wasn’t hers and made all her bad dreams go away. She’d been there the day I got my period and got scared out of my mind, and she’d held me when Asher left me. I was the luckiest girl in the world to have her as my mom. She was the kind of woman I hoped to be one day.