Boys South of the Mason Dixon Page 11

  The front door opened and Dixie stepped outside wearing a pair of cutoff jeans and a plaid shirt that was tied in a knot, her stomach visible for an inch or two. My heart began beating rapidly. She was barefoot and looked exactly like every southern boy’s fantasy. Any boy’s fantasy. “Hey,” she said with the tiniest of smiles. She didn’t look like she was hurting. None of the pain I’d seen in her eyes two days back was there anymore. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I didn’t want her hurting, but I also hoped she loved me enough to hurt from our break-up.

  “How are you?” I asked, searching her face.

  She shrugged. “Good. Better. I talked to my daddy.”

  The way she said “my daddy” with relief in her voice told me her father had cleared the air of the lies that we all had believed.

  “So you know the truth, then?” I asked.

  She frowned. Blew through her lips. “Yeah, but it isn’t what Asher thinks.”

  I nodded. “We know. Momma told us.”

  Dixie’s eyes went wide and she glanced toward our house. “Oh, really, when?”

  “Two mornings ago. I would’ve been here sooner, but we all kinda needed some time . . . to deal . . . you know?”

  She turned her eyes back to me. The sudden sadness in them made me want to kick myself. Why did I tell her I’d known for two days without coming to her? How stupid was that of me?

  “I’m sorry,” I muttered, “so sorry.”

  She forced a smile and shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I also knew and didn’t come to you. I just . . .” she paused and nervously swallowed. “Never mind. I’m not making sense. It’s been a crazy few days, I guess.”

  “Yeah, it has,” I agreed. I then reached out to take her hand in mine. “But I never stopped loving you. I loved you even when I thought it was wrong. I couldn’t turn that off.”

  She drew inward, tensed, her gaze flicking back toward my house again. I knew then that this was about Asher. She was waiting on him, which was what I should’ve expected. I should’ve known this would happen. He was the one she’d lost and never gotten over. It was written all over her face.

  “I waited on him,” I told her. “He’s the reason I didn’t come until now. I was giving him a chance to come to you. But he came to me this morning and told me to come see you. Not to make you wait. That I loved you more than he ever could and you deserved that. Not him.”

  The pain in her eyes intensified and I wanted to roar at the unfairness. Why did Dixie have to do this to me? I’d waited on her, been faithful to her because I loved her and wanted it to work. Why did she have to want him more? He’d sent me. He’d let her go.

  I was here. He wasn’t.

  “Oh,” she said, unable to look up. She studied her hands instead.

  Just a fucking “oh.”

  “Dixie, do you still want this? Us?” I asked, willing her to at least look at me. To give me something, any damn thing.

  Finally, she raised her gaze and asked, “Steel, do you want this?”

  Did she even have to ask? “More than anything, Dixie.”

  She didn’t respond right away. Instead, she waited a few moments, before releasing the softest of sighs. “Okay, yes, I want this, too.”

  Relief washed over me. I wanted to pound my chest. I’d won. Dixie was mine. Dixie Monroe was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever laid eyes on and she’d chosen me over my brother.

  “I’ll make you happy, Dixie. Baby, I swear.”

  She nodded, took a step toward me, laying her head on my chest. This was what I’d needed. What I wanted more than anything else. I could do without sex until she was ready. Just knowing that one day Dixie Monroe would share my bed made everything better. For now.

  Dixie Monroe

  THE FOLLOWING WEEK, I saw Steel every day. But I never saw Asher. Not once. His truck was parked outside by the pump house, but when I came by, he never came around. I didn’t ask and Steel didn’t mention it. I felt like Steel was waiting on me to ask, and if I did, I would’ve failed some test of sorts.

  Scarlet said to let go of the past, but I didn’t know how to do that. Asher was more than just my past. He was a part of me. He owned a piece of my heart, possibly the biggest one of them all. You couldn’t just ignore that because people told you to do so. Even if he didn’t fight for us to be together, my heart didn’t care, and the pain I felt from knowing that was unbearable still.

  He still had the power to make me drop everything and go running to him with a crook of his finger. He still had that much hold over me. Though, it felt as if he were gone again. Scarlet said she’d seen him two days ago working in the barn with Bray doing some renovations. He was laughing and seemed less preoccupied than he’d been in the past three years. I was glad he wasn’t living with the darkness that had eaten at him for so long. But I missed him. I wanted to see him like this. See the old Asher again.

  “Damn, he’s at it again,” Steel muttered, drawing me from my thoughts. I turned to look what he was frowning at. I saw the back of Brent’s head and the familiar red curls belonging to my best friend in the back of Bray’s truck. I shook my head. Did they think parking out there was an actual hiding place?

  “I swear, Bray can’t get a full day of work in without getting him some.”

  I began to tell Steel it wasn’t Bray, that it was Brent, but I stopped and looked again, squinting over the field. The sun and distance made it hard to see. That was definitely Scarlet’s red hair. I would have known it anywhere. And that had to be Brent. She was attracted to Bray, but she wouldn’t . . . actually sleep with him. She wouldn’t. Would she?

  “You want burgers for lunch or seafood? I’m good with either, starved through the gut,” Steel said, snapping my gaze from Bray’s truck. He didn’t seem to notice that was Scarlet and until I knew what was going on, I wouldn’t point that out to him.

  “Uh . . . seafood is good,” I replied.

  I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent Scarlet a hopeful text: Please tell me that was Brent? She’d know what I meant.

  “Another reason I love you. We think alike. Let’s go,” Steel said, turning and laughing. I smiled back at him, but the words wouldn’t come. Telling Steel I loved him seemed wrong, especially now. I wasn’t sure if I loved him like he loved me. Steel was good to me. Would’ve fought for me. I had to keep reminding myself of that daily.

  I listened to Steel talk about the barn and all the renovations they were going to do. I didn’t even wince when he said Asher’s name, complaining that Asher was getting a job this summer working for Denver Watson, at the local Feed and Seed. He didn’t understand why Asher couldn’t help them work the family farm. I wanted to tell him that Asher knew they needed more money and the only way to get that was to work for someone else.

  Instead, I asked, “What does your momma think?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Momma thinks Asher hung the moon. You know that. She’s so glad he’s home for the summer, she’ll agree with whatever he does.”

  “Or maybe she knows that Asher could make more to help pay the bills by working for someone else.” Arguing with Steel was one thing. Defending Asher was another entirely. I knew it and I did it anyway. It was as if I couldn’t control my mouth. I said those words without being able to stop them from pouring out.

  “You seem real sure that Asher knows what’s best.” There was a sourness in his tone and I didn’t blame him for it. Everything was still raw and new between us.

  “I was just thinking is all. Not my business. I’m sorry. I don’t know what your bills are or how much the farm makes for you all. You do. It’s not my business.”

  He was quiet for a moment and I wondered if I’d said the wrong thing yet again. This was going to be difficult for a while. Maybe forever. Could I do this? Was this even fair to Steel?

  He admitted, “I don’t know what the farm brings in,” and he didn’t seem proud of that fact either.

  “Oh,” was all I said.

  We rode in silen
ce to the only seafood place in town. I fidgeted my hands and kept my gaze out the window like I’d never been here before. Part of me hoped to see Bray out there somewhere on the street. To assure me it hadn’t been him in the truck. I really wanted to know that it wasn’t. Then suddenly Steel said, “Asher does. And Bray. They help Momma with the finances. Asher did it until he left. Momma does most of it now, but Asher was so good at math she had him start helping when he turned seventeen. When he left for college, she let Bray step in. Someone had to step in. Bray was the best choice.”

  He didn’t have to admit this to me. This was another thing about Steel to love and respect. He was honest, didn’t lie to make himself look better, but even that couldn’t change my heart. I wished it could. Even when my heart should’ve lied, it didn’t.

  “They’re older,” I replied simply to comfort him.

  He nodded. “Yeah, but I care more about the place. Making it a real working farm. Turning more than just enough to pay the bills. I want to see it thrive. Give Momma some extra to put back into it. You know what I mean?”

  I tilted my chin, but didn’t say any more. Instead, my eyes suddenly found Asher. Like they always seemed to do. He was walking out of the hardware store with Hannah Watson stepping beside him. She was talking and smiling brightly, her face turning to gesture as they strolled, while Asher listened and took it all in. The small lift at the corners of his lips meant Hannah was making him truly smile, and Asher was liking whatever she was saying. Until this moment, I’d always liked Hannah. She was beautiful, smart and nice. But now I hoped she tripped over her pretty blue sandals and fell flat on her face. Or for a truck to hit her in the street. What was happening to me?

  “Asher moved on that fast enough. The boss’s daughter is already hanging on his arm. Not sure Denver was expecting that.”

  Why did Asher need another job anyway? That was silly. I suddenly agreed with Steel. There was no point in him working elsewhere with so much to do on their oen farm. Especially if it meant he was going to be around Hannah all the time. Wasn’t she supposed to be off at school? Why was she traipsing the streets with Asher? Drooling and looking all pretty?

  “I thought she went up north to college somewhere,” I said a little too loudly, trying to then soften my voice at the end, but you could still hear it sounded all wrong.

  “She did. Guess she’s home for the summer.”

  A summer romance.

  My stomach turned sour.

  I wasn’t going to be able to eat anything now. Not a single bite.

  Why did I have to see this? I wanted to see Bray, not Asher.

  “Ready for lunch?” Steel asked as he parked the truck.

  “Yeah,” I replied with even less enthusiasm than before, unsure I’d be able to swallow even one fried shrimp after the scene I’d just witnessed in the street.

  I watched as Asher walked out to his truck and Hannah climbed on the passenger side. They had ridden here together. They were headed somewhere together. Asher was supposed to be working. Why wasn’t he working instead of gallivanting all over town with Hannah? My stomach clinched, jealousy dulling everything around me, even the air now smelling different to me. The sun looked less bright, the sky less blue, and my heart kept fracturing more and more. I didn’t know that it could break any more. But it seemed it could.

  Asher Sutton

  I HAD NO idea why I was at Jack’s with Amber Fort. But after the day I had with Hannah flirting incessantly with me and my trying to make sure she understood we were just going to be friends, I needed a drink. A big one. Hannah wasn’t taking the hint, though. When I walked into Jack’s, Amber had been here all tanned up from working at the salon with her tits and legs on display and I figured I needed a distraction. Amber knew the score. She wasn’t in it for the romance or promises of a forever. We’d messed around once in high school. She knew the drill.

  Amber sat down on my lap as soon as I took a seat on the closest bar stool. “My day just got a helluva lot better,” she drawled, leaning in to shove her cleavage in my face. I wished that I could say the same.

  “Heard you were driving around with sweet Hannah Watson,” she continued. This town had little to do but talk about people. I figured they’d have me and Hannah engaged by next week at this rate. Another reason to let Amber sit on my lap. Maybe enough people would see it and I’d just get labeled a manwhore instead.

  “I’m working for Denver,” I told her as if she didn’t know this already.

  She wrapped an arm over my shoulders and leaned in closer. “I heard that, but I also know you like your girls sweet. I figure it’s about time you tried some naughty.” I assumed she saw herself as the naughty in that sentence.

  Vince Wallace and Todd Hyatt walked in and headed for a pool table. “Asher! Heard you were in town,” Vince called out while walking over to me. I’d played football with both of them. Wasn’t sure what either of then were doing now, though.

  “Yeah, I’m home for a bit,” I told him.

  “I see you got some good hometown entertainment,” he said grinning at Amber who just giggled.

  I wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

  “Ash, man, saw you play this year on TV. It was fucking crazy to see. Kept telling the boys I used to play on the same field as you,” Todd said as he took a beer from Jack’s nephew Roy who was working the bar today.

  That seemed to excite Amber because she managed to wrap herself tighter against me. I knew I could have just taken what she was offering all too happily. But I also knew I’d feel guilty later. Not sure why. Dixie was my brother’s girlfriend. I’d been with other women since her. Something about being home and seeing her again made it all different.

  “You’re living the dream. Living the dream,” Todd said with a wistfulness in his tone. He was my age, but he’d gotten married the week after high school graduation and his twin boys had been born the next month. That is all I knew about Todd.

  “Good to have you home,” Vince told me, then the two of them moved to the pool table.

  Amber’s thigh moved down between mine until she was pressing and rubbing it against my dick. “Want to go somewhere so I can kiss on that?” she offered.

  Before I had to make a decision, the door opened again and Bray walked in. He became my excuse for telling her no. “Tap,” was all that Bray said to Roy before walking to stand beside us and looking at me.

  “You the only one here?”

  “Yeah. The others are . . . out,” I told him, not sure exactly where they all were.

  “What up, Amber?” Bray asked, winking at Amber who squirmed in my lap some more. I was walking out of here if she started mentioning a threesome. I’d had enough women in the past who’d asked for one with one of my brothers and that shit was not happening. Ever.

  “Trying to get this one to take me out to his truck,” she said, pressing her body against mine some more.

  “Good luck,” he replied. He knew me too damn well. “You up for a game,” Bray asked me.

  “Yeah.” I needed to do something other than let Amber rub all over me. The fact that my dick was hard didn’t mean I wanted her. It meant it was being rubbed on and it was what a dick did. I patted her leg. “Let me up, babe.” As soon as I said the words, her eyes lit up. Damn. I hadn’t meant it as a term of endearment.

  Suddenly, her lips were on mine and I decided to just go for it. To try and see if I wanted more. But I knew immediately that this wasn’t something I could fake. Her body felt good, she had a great one, but this would only end up being one more pointless fuck.

  Taking her by the waist, I moved her gently off me and stood up. It was then that my eyes locked with Dixie’s. Her skin was pale and the raw pain in her eyes shook me to my core. I didn’t want to hurt her. I never wanted to see her look at me like that again. I’d seen that look too many times in the past.

  I forced my legs to move away from Amber before she did any more groping. “Rack ’em,” I said to Bray, tearing my gaze off
Dixie.

  “She ain’t worth it,” Bray said under his breath.

  “Yeah, she is,” I replied. She was worth so much more than Bray would ever understand. He didn’t love anyone like that. I doubted he ever would.

  “Amber’s hot,” he said as if I needed that pointed out to me. I glanced back at Amber, wondering if I could go there. Lose myself in her, even if only for one night.

  “I know. I’m trying to focus on that,” I told him.

  My head was so fucking messed up with Dixie being there, I had missed my other brothers walking into the bar. “I got the winner,” Steel said all happy like he owned the damn world. He did. He had my world. He had my Dixie.

  “So you’ll be playing Bray. Nobody can beat his ass,” Brent said with an amused smirk directed my way. He was right. Bray was the undefeated champion among us.

  Although, at the moment, Bray looked wound up tight. He had that crazy look in his eyes he would get whenever his temper was about to flare up. Bray’d had anger issues since he was a little boy. He’d lose his shit in an instant and calming him down had never been easy. Dad had been good at it. But once Dad was gone, we never really knew how to do it. The older he got, the less it happened. But when it did, it was dangerous for everyone involved.

  Momma said he needed to see a psychiatrist. Regularly. Bray said he had no use for a shrink. We all agreed he was wrong. He needed help controlling himself. I wasn’t sure what the fuck had just set him off, but it was clearly boiling under the surface. He then turned to a blonde I knew he dated in high school and started flirting. She didn’t know to stay away from that dangerous gleam in his eyes. He was going to use her as a distraction. But from what?

  I turned to look at Brent to see if he noticed it, too, but he was leaving with Scarlet. As much as I didn’t want to look at Steel, I did. I needed backup and soon. But Steel wasn’t looking at Bray, either. He was smiling back at Dixie. Shit.

  “Brent leaving?” Steel asked, then looked at me.

  “Looks like it,” I replied, giving him a pointed look, then shooting my eyes toward Bray to get his attention.