Because of Lila Read online

  chest. A frown on his face and his eyes glaring in my direction.

  “Explain to me what I just saw out there. Go slowly. Be thorough.”

  Shit.

  “I’m not sure what you’re referring to,” was my lame response.

  “Cruz, I’m not in the fucking mood.”

  This was going to have to be dealt with sooner or later. I figured sooner would at least be getting it out of the way. “I’m in love with Lila Kate.”

  Dad’s glare faded, and his eyebrows drew together as he studied me. “In love? Like only one woman in love?”

  Jesus, he had a low opinion of me. “Is there another love? Because I always believed that if you were in love, it was with only one woman. Unless you’re in love with women in general.”

  “You’re a smartass,” he said scowling again. “When did you decide you were in love with Lila Kate?”

  Why did this matter? I wasn’t here to defend myself. I would have to do that with Grant. I shouldn’t have to do it with my father. “Does it matter?”

  I gave me one sharp nod and continued to glare at me.

  “When I thought I was going to lose her. That’s when.”

  “Lose her? When did you have her?”

  “I didn’t have her, but it was the idea that she could love someone else. Forget me. Move on. It was a slap in the face. One I needed.”

  Dad stood up straight and groaned. “That’s not the answer I wanted to hear. You can’t just think you love her in order to keep her loving you. Then get bored and break her heart. That’s cruel son. Selfish. I taught you better than this.”

  “I’ve loved her or a long time. Okay. I knew if I let myself I’d feel something special. But Lila Kate is . . . she’s important. I couldn’t hurt her. I was protecting her.”

  I watched as he rubbed his forehead as if frustrated. This wasn’t his business. We weren’t kids who were just caught fucking in the backseat. “You wanted to meet with me about the Kipling franchise,” I reminded him.

  “You’re changing the subject.”

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  He started to say something else and stopped. “Fine. You are both adults. If you want to do this, I can’t stop you. But Lila Kate isn’t like the women you typically spend time with. She’s fragile, sweet, unsure . . . I don’t want you to hurt her.”

  I looked directly at my dad. “Nothing has ever been this serious in my life. I’ll kill anyone who hurts her.”

  Dad sat there a moment then raised one of his eyebrows. “Well, son, I guess I lost that bet.”

  “What?”

  He walked over to his side of the desk. “I told your mother you’d be a bachelor until you were at least forty. She bet me you’d fall in love before the year was over. She said she just had a feeling.”

  Annoyed at both my parents, I stood up. “I can’t believe y’all were betting on that. I hope she just emptied your fucking pockets.”

  Dad chuckled. “I won’t tell you what the wager was . . . you couldn’t handle it.”

  Lila Kate

  THE OOLONG TEA I’d ordered was getting cold as I waited on Cruz. I’d taken a few sips but my thoughts were elsewhere, and I’d forgotten about it while I pondered this situation. I hadn’t been kidding when I had said that I would be dealing with a lot of “Shelbys.” It was just the way things were.

  The problem was I immediately started comparing myself to her and finding my faults. She was taller, leggy, her hair was blonde and curly. She was confident. I couldn’t do this every time we came in contact with a female Cruz had slept with. That would eventually make me miserable. I had to build some confidence. I had to think about my good qualities and remember that Cruz had said he loved me.

  I was almost positive he’d never said that to another woman. It wasn’t a Cruz-type behavior to proclaim love.

  “Sorry it took so long,” Cruz’s voice startled me, causing me to jump a little. He grinned, obviously amused. As he sat down, he added, “You were in deep thought.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

  That wiped out his smile. “About?”

  He was as unsure as I was. That helped a little bit. I wasn’t the only one feeling vulnerable. “About everything. Nothing specific.”

  He leaned forward and looked at me with a serious and intense expression. “Please don’t question this or me. Give me time. I can be all those things you think I can’t.”

  I slid my hand over the table and covered his. “I know. That’s not what I was thinking about.”

  He seemed relieved and his thumb wrapped around my finger. “Good.”

  “Hello Lila Kate, Cruz,” the interruption was from Kelsey Torrent, the head of marketing for the Kerrington Club.

  Cruz’s hand slipped away from mine abruptly, and he sat up straight in his chair. No one else would notice he’d done it so smoothly. But Kelsey’s interruption had startled him. She’d been working for the club for five years now. I didn’t know her that well.

  “Hello, Kelsey,” Cruz replied barely glancing up at her.

  Kelsey smiled as if our greeting had been much warmer. I felt awkwardness that didn’t make sense hanging over us. “Hello,” I said trying to make up for Cruz’s response.

  Kelsey barely glanced at me. “Your father wants to see you,” she said to Cruz. Her tone was annoyed. She didn’t seem to care much for him. I wondered if she felt threatened by his position at the club. I could imagine she wasn’t excited about answering to someone twenty years younger than her in the coming years.

  “I just left his office,” Cruz replied.

  She was trying to cover her sudden anger. But I could see it behind her fake smile. “That may be so, but he wants you to come back. I’m sure,” she glanced at me with a tight smile. “Miss Carter can finish lunch alone.”

  I started to tell him I could just head back to the studio and work, but Cruz spoke first. “I’ll eat my lunch, and then see what Dad needs in his office.”

  Kelsey Torrent wasn’t pleased. She was more than annoyed. When she spun around and walked away, I let out a breath I’d been holding. I thought the two of them were going to cause a scene. Which would have probably gotten her fired, and Cruz in serious trouble.

  “I don’t think she likes you very much,” I said quietly once she was out of the dining room.

  He shrugged as if he didn’t care, but he was tense. That had bothered him. I felt bad for him. Having to join a company like this and deal with employees who didn’t like that he’d be their boss eventually. “She’s uptight,” was all he said.

  We ordered our food and Cruz tried to relax unsuccessfully. I wished he’d just find out what his father wanted instead of worrying about ignoring him or putting him off. I glanced at my phone and decided to fib to Cruz to relieve him from this lunch with me. He would worry the entire time if he didn’t answer to his father.

  “Oh, that’s the decorator I need to meet with. She’s available now but won’t be again until Thursday. I need to see what she can do and get a quote. Do you mind?”

  “No, that’s fine. You need to meet with her. I’ll be there later today. I need to deal with my dad first.”

  “Thank you. I’m sorry. I can just ask the kitchen to pack up my food to go.”

  He stood then. “I’ll get it from the kitchen. They’ll take their time otherwise.” He was being helpful, but his head was somewhere else. We were new. Our relationship and being seen in public was new. So, I didn’t feel like I could question him too much about what was distracting him. I would have to let him tell me what was going on when he was ready.

  I got my purse and drank the rest of my tea before he walked back with a bag containing my lunch. It was hard to miss the eyes that followed him as he walked through the restaurant. Many spoke to him. Others watched him like he was a meal they wanted. I couldn’t blame them. He was so very easy to look at.

  When he reached the table, I stood up, and he kissed me. Right there for everyone to see. I
t was like he was making a claim. Letting them all know. But in reality, he was showing me he was serious. I took the bag once the kiss ended and felt my cheeks turn warm.

  “You’re blushing,” he smirked.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “These people may not all know me, but they all know you.”

  “They know you, Lila Kate Carter.”

  My cheeks were flaming now.

  “God, you’re cute,” he said, grinning now. His earlier tension had eased. “I’ll see you shortly.”

  With a nod and a shy smile, I left with my gaze straight ahead, afraid to make eye contact with anyone. Cruz had already disappeared in the other direction.

  “Lila Kate,” a female voice stopped me. I turned to see Adelle Boyd giving me a calculating look. She sat at a table with her mother and younger sister. They were all three in tennis skirts as if they’d just come inside from the courts. Which they probably had.

  “Hello,” I said to the table already knowing what this was about. That kiss was sweet, but I knew it would get me some attention I didn’t want. Or I should say, drama.

  “Are you dating Cruz?” she asked a touch of disbelief in her tone

  I forced a smile. “Yes.”

  Her mother made a strange sound in the back of her throat. I didn’t look at her.

  “Since when?”

  “It’s new,” I told her sweetly. What I wanted was to be rude and tell her it was none of her business though.

  Her mouth turned up into an amused grin. “It’ll also be short.”

  Both mother and sister made muffled laughs. I didn’t have time for this.

  “Y’all have a wonderful day too,” I said before I walked off hoping no one else stopped me.

  They didn’t. Once outside I breathed a sigh of relief. That was just the beginning. I had to learn to handle people’s reactions better.

  Cruz Kerrington

  I TURNED AND went the other direction as Lila Kate left the Club. My stomach clenched as my demons chased me. The reason I had kept my distance from Lila Kate, the reason I had wanted her and now knew I loved her but would never get close enough was breathing down my neck. I’d taken this chance and gone after her even though I had shit that could destroy us before it ever began. I had sworn to her I wouldn’t hurt her. I was about to make sure I kept that promise.

  Turning left instead of right, I headed for Kelsey’s office. My father hadn’t sent her for me. She’d seen me with Lila Kate, and she’d come after me. Normally, she didn’t interfere with my sex life. She was a married woman after all. But she knew . . . Lila Kate Carter was different.

  I didn’t knock on her door. I just walked inside. She was standing on the other side of the room with a glass of ice water in her hand staring out the window.

  “You can’t date her,” was all she said. She didn’t even turn around.

  “I can do whatever the fuck I want to do, Kelsey,” I replied angry that she thought she had some magic pussy that could control me. Maybe that was true when I was sixteen and she’d brought me in this office one night late after a ball and sucked my dick for the first time. She’d had some power over me. But I wasn’t a boy anymore. I’d had many women since she introduced me to sex.

  “I don’t care about all your whores. That’s all they are. You’re a man. Men like sex. They like variety. I’m okay with that. But not her. You know she’s not a whore. You want more with her,” she turned to me then. “Am I right?”

  “Yes, you’re correct. What we did wasn’t right. You’re married. We should have stopped a long time ago. Hell, we never should have started. But I was a horny teenage boy, and you took advantage of that. I didn’t care about your husband then. I should have, but my sex drive was running the show. We are done. I love her. There is only her for me.”

  Kelsey was a beautiful woman. Tall, slender, generous breast size and a freak when it came to sex. I’d fucked her right on that desk many times in many different positions. And she’d watched me fuck other girls and had waiting to fuck me after because it turned her on. That had been fun. Before. But the past year, she’d gotten clingier. Needier. More possessive.

  “Is that what you think? That you can fuck me for five years then just walk away. Just like that?”

  “We never had a relationship. We fucked. It was never exclusive. You’re married. Remember? I can do what the hell I want to do. This thing we did is over.”

  The blaze in her eyes was never good. She didn’t like being told no. She typically got whatever she wanted. I was more than positive I wasn’t the only teenage boy she’d fucked. She liked them young. She told me so when she bared her tits to me and sucked me off the first time.

  While having sex with her the past five years had been fun and games, I knew it was wrong. It was something Lila Kate would never understand. I had to make sure it was buried. Forgotten.

  “You think you have control over this?” Kelsey asked as she took a step toward me. She was unbuttoning her shirt. Once that would have gotten me excited. Right now, it just pissed me off.

  “Yes, I do. It’s done. Over,” I was direct. Looked her in the eyes and made sure she saw how serious I was.

  Her blouse was open, but I didn’t look down. I didn’t want that from her. Not anymore.

  Her hand was on my dick, and she squeezed. “Really?” her voice had dropped to a purr.

  “Yes, really,” I replied, backing away from her. “Just stop. You’re pathetic.”

  She froze and her previously smiling face returned to a state of fury. “You little spoiled bastard. You will regret this.”

  “No, I won’t,” I assured her as I turned and walked away. The end of what I’d been doing with Kelsey was way overdue. When I was almost out the door, she found a way to stop me.

  “I’m pregnant. My husband is sterile. I was preparing to tell him about us. I still am. You can’t walk away from this, Cruz. You’re going to be a daddy.”

  I glared at her. Even now she was lying. “I’ve never fucked you without protection. Ever. So it’s someone else’s baby. Not mine. You tell him it’s mine and you’ll have to prove it.” I wasn’t a teenage boy anymore. She couldn’t trick me into shit.

  Her eyes teared up. “Condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective.”

  “Birth control is,” I shot back.

  She wiped a single tear as it rolled down her cheek. “I stopped taking them a year ago. I want a baby. I want your baby.”

  I shook my head. No. She was lying. This was her way to manipulate. It wasn’t going to work. “You are a liar,” I roared not caring who heard me then stormed out of the office. Away from the club and the dark shit that was now catching up with me. I thought she’d keep quiet for fear of losing her marriage. She had told me once she loved her husband, but he didn’t take care of her sexually. She needed more. The dirtiness, the excitement. I had felt sorry for her and didn’t understood how a man wouldn’t enjoy her insane sexual needs. It had been fun. Now I saw the fun was fucked up.

  It was also going to destroy me if she went through with this lie. I had to find a way to stop this. To protect Lila Kate. I never wanted her to see that side of my life. To know the sordid shit I’d done.

  Getting to Lila Kate was all I needed right now. To hold her. Smell her. Feel her. The brightness in her world made my damaged past fade away.

  The drive to her studio was only a few miles, but it felt like an eternity. The fear she’d know and hate me weighed on me. Her refusal to listen to me and to love me was clawing at my heels. I drove faster and focused on getting to her.

  I took long fast strides from my car to her door. When I jerked it open, there Lila was. She’d already changed into paint-stained clothing, threw her hair in a bun and was dancing to music as she cleaned out a paint brush. She was good. Perfect. Pure.

  I locked the door behind me and went to her. She glanced up, startled at first and then she smiled.

  “Hey,” was the only thing she had time to say before I was there i
n front of her. I backed her up until she was behind the corner blocking us from the windows. The shadows there didn’t mask the surprise and excitement on her face.

  I didn’t take time to kiss and hold her. I couldn’t. The wolves that were chasing me, haunting me, had me desperate. I jerked down her shorts and panties then quickly shoved my jeans down until my dick was free. Grabbing her by the waist I picked her up, pressed her between the wall and my body then thrust into her with a groan.

  She grabbed my shoulders and cried out my name. That only caused this wild intense pounding in my head to get worse. My mouth devoured hers tasting and taking it all. I was fucking her while loving her.

  “This is mine,” I told her biting at her neck. “You can’t leave me.” My words would sound crazy to her, but they came out anyway.

  “Okay,” she said as her head was thrown back against the wall and her throat exposed to me while I licked and left my mark on it.

  “I will always need this. Need you. I’m addicted to you. Fucking addicted.”

  She moaned and I pounded harder. Wanting to get so damn deep that we were like one person. No one else would ever be this for me. She would be all I needed. Being inside her made the darkness and the lies go away. All that mattered was her. This. Us.