The Vincent Boys Collection Read online

  Sawyer never took his eyes off me. He was trying so hard to read between the lines. I would have to tell him some truths—just enough to keep from destroying his relationship with Beau.

  The crunch of the dry grass under Beau’s boots told me he’d granted my wish and was heading for his truck. I’d won that battle. Now the biggest one was staring me in the face, and I had no idea what I was going to say.

  Chapter 19

  ASHTON

  “Start at the beginning, Ash, and tell me everything.”

  There was no way I’d tell him everything. I stared out at the road as Beau’s truck drove away. The silence was deafening as Sawyer waited for me to speak.

  “This summer, Beau and I rekindled our friendship. We were close once, Sawyer, you know that.” I paused and took a deep breath. “He understands me. He knows when I’m full of bullcrap and he knows I’m not perfect even though I try really hard to be. With Beau, I can let myself go and not worry about losing his friendship.”

  “So this is a friends’ thing? Because the way he was caressing your mouth and eating you up with his eyes, I find that a little hard to believe.”

  “All it can ever be with Beau is friendship. He knows that. Beau is affectionate. He touches a lot of girls’ lips.”

  Sawyer raised his eyebrows as if he thought what I was saying was ludicrous. “I don’t know if we’re talking about the same guy, but Beau, my cousin Beau, doesn’t longingly gaze at anyone the way I just caught him staring at you. You’re too naive to see it, but trust me, baby, he wants you, and I’m going to kick his ass.”

  Okay, that wasn’t what I’d been aiming for: blame on Beau, not me. I needed to redirect this anger of his.

  “You misunderstood what you saw. He was trying to talk me out of what I’d decided to do today. He believes you and I are supposed to be forever. I don’t think so. We’re young and I need space. I’m not ready to talk about marrying you one day. That scares me. There is so much life out there to live first. Beau thinks I’m making a mistake because he thinks you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. What you saw was your cousin trying to persuade me not to break up with you.”

  The look of disbelief and shock that came over Sawyer’s face was a little insulting. Why was it so hard for him to believe I’d break up with him?

  “You—you’re . . . breaking up with me?” He shook his head and stepped back, away from me. His face had gone pale, as if I’d just told him he’d never play football again. This wasn’t the end of the world.

  “I pretend with you, Sawyer. I’m not the good girl you think I am. You love this fake Ashton. I’ve been striving to be worthy of you for so long, and I’m exhausted. I don’t like returning the stupid buggies to the return place in the parking lot, and I don’t like feeling as if I have to be Good Samaritan to everyone I come across. Sometimes I just want to run off and worry about me. I’m selfish and ornery and just a big ole fake. This girl you love and want to marry doesn’t exist.”

  It was as if a weight had just been lifted off my shoulders. The air rushed into my lungs, and for the first time in three years I took a deep breath.

  “That’s crazy,” Sawyer said, shaking his head. I was so close to freedom then that I could taste it. Standing here and listening to him try to convince me I didn’t know what I was talking about annoyed me. But I could control this now. The real Ashton had a backbone.

  “No, it’s the truth. I want to go parking and make out so heavy my bra gets lost under the seat of the car. I want to flip Nicole the bird when she glares at me in the hallways at school. And I want to wear my red bikini and enjoy the fact guys are checking me out. I’m not who you think I am. I never was and I never will be.”

  I closed the space between us, stood on my tippy-toes, and placed a quick peck on his cheek. The familiar smell of his cologne caused my chest to tighten with emotion. I’d miss him, but not enough to be someone else to have him. He saw me differently now. I could see it in his expression. The emotion churning in his blue eyes as he finally saw me for who I really was was bittersweet. I spun around and jogged out to my Jetta. Without another glance back, I drove off. For the first time ever, I left church before it was over.

  * * *

  When I pulled into the parking lot, Leann was sitting on the front steps of the ancient, three-story brick dormitory she’d been placed in that year. From where I was, I could see her nibbling on her thumbnail. Leann mauled her right thumbnail only when she was nervous. I’d been vague on my reason for coming when I’d called after I’d decided that was where I was going to go. I swooped into an empty parking spot. On my drive up there, I realized that telling someone everything had become essential. I needed to get this off my chest. A tap on my window startled me, and I glanced over to see Leann, still nibbling her thumbnail, with a frown puckering her brow. Forcing a smile, I opened the door. She stepped back so I could get out.

  “I swear I think I grew gray hair waiting on you to get here,” she said, reaching for my arm and pulling me into a hug. “I can’t believe you’re here, and I can’t believe you left church early without telling anyone where you were going.”

  I pulled back and met her gaze. “I didn’t tell you that.”

  She rolled her big brown eyes and hooked her arm through mine, steering me toward the dorm. “Sweetie, the moment it was apparent you weren’t returning to the church service, I received texts from my aunt Linda and Kayla, and then Kyle posted it on his Facebook wall.”

  I groaned and laid my head on her shoulder. Leann patted my arm and led me over to sit at a secluded bench in the shade of a large oak tree. Plopping down, she patted the empty spot beside her. “Come on and spill it. The suspense is killing me. Never have you been the cause of gossip. This has got to be good.”

  I shifted on the wooden seat and studied my hands in my lap. Admitting this was one thing; actually looking Leann in the face while I shared all my faults with her was another. We’d been friends for three years, and not one time had I ever mentioned even a mild attraction to Beau.

  “You know Beau and I were close as kids. . . .” I decided to start there. It seemed like the best place.

  “Oh good God, you mean to tell me this has something to do with Beau? Beau Vincent?”

  I cringed and nodded without glancing over at her.

  “Yes, it has everything to do with Beau,” I whispered.

  Leann’s hand covered mine, and I took some comfort in the gesture.

  “Ohmydearlord this is gonna be much worse than I imagined,” she replied.

  “This summer Beau and I started spending time together. You were with Noah or working, and Sawyer was gone. I thought it would be good to rekindle the friendship Beau and I once shared.”

  Leann squeezed my hands, and I continued to explain how we’d played pool at the bar where his mother worked, went swimming at the hole, watched a movie at my house, and then I paused, knowing what I told her next was going to be hard for her to comprehend. After all, I was the good girl.

  “That night in the back of his truck, Beau and I . . . we”—I swallowed hard and squeezed my eyes shut—“had sex.”

  Leann let go of my hands and slipped her arm around my shoulders instead.

  “Wow” was her only response.

  “I know. It wasn’t the only time either and . . . and although I know it won’t happen again . . . I think . . . I think I love him. Maybe I always have. No. I know I always have. When I’m with Beau, I feel things I’ve never felt with Sawyer. I can be me. There’s no pretending. Beau knows my worst flaws.”

  “The heart wants who the heart wants. We can’t help that,” Leann said.

  I sighed and finally lifted my eyes to meet hers. The unshed tears blurred my vision.

  “But I’ve ruined his life. All he ever had was Sawyer. Make no mistake, I went after Beau. I can look back and see it now. This is all my fault. I should have never come between them.” I sniffled and buried my head in her shoulder.


  “Beau could have said no. He knew he was destroying his relationship with Sawyer every moment he spent with you. Don’t you take all the blame for this.” The stern tone in Leann’s voice only caused me to cry harder. Beau needed Sawyer. He might not have realized it, but he did. Somehow I had to make it right.

  “How do I fix this? How do I help Beau get Sawyer back?”

  “You can’t fix this for them. Beau knew what he was doing, Ash. He chose you over Sawyer. Now that you’ve let Sawyer go, are you going to choose Beau?”

  I wiped the tears from my cheeks and peered over at her. “Choosing Beau will cause everyone in Grove to hate him. They’ll all see him as the guy who took Sawyer’s girl away. I can’t do that to him.”

  Leann shrugged. “I don’t think Beau cares about everyone else. He made that apparent when he decided sneaking around with his cousin’s girl was what he wanted to do. He has to love you, Ash. Never in this lifetime would I have thought Beau would do anything to hurt Sawyer. He loves him. So that can only mean he loves you more.” She reached over to pat my shoulder. “Question is: Do you love him as fiercely? Are you willing to snub your nose at your family and the people in town in order to have him?”

  Chapter 20

  BEAU

  “Well, hell has done froze slap over. Sawyer Vincent is walking into a bar.” My mama’s voice carried loud and clear over the empty room. I put the beer down that I’d been nursing since walking in there five minutes before. Ashton was nowhere to be found, so I had come here hoping she was looking for me, too.

  “I’m not here for a social visit, Aunt Honey. I came to see my backstabbing, lying SOB of a cousin.”

  Mama let out a low whistle and shook her head. “I shoulda known better than to believe you knew all about Beau and Ashton gallivanting around town together.”

  “Shut up, Mom,” I said without glancing her way. I kept my eyes on Sawyer. The hatred in his eyes wasn’t something I’d ever imagined seeing directed my way. Even though I knew I deserved it, I still had a hard time swallowing it. His hair was tucked behind his ears and his teeth were so tightly clenched I could see his jaw tick.

  “Is she here?” Sawyer asked, scanning the empty bar. He’d thought she would come to me too.

  “No.”

  “Where is she?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Sawyer stalked toward me. God, I didn’t want to hit him. I just wanted Ash. The real Ash. The one he didn’t know. The one he’d never be able to love.

  “How could you do this, Beau? You’re like my brother.”

  The pain in his eyes felt like a knife twisting in my gut. It wasn’t enough to make me regret anything, but it hurt like hell.

  “You don’t know her. You never did.”

  “I don’t know her? I don’t know her? Who in the hell do you think you are, Beau? She’s been mine for three years. Three years. The two of you hardly acknowledged each other for those three years. Then I leave for the summer and you two make up? Become friends? What exactly happened? Because the bullcrap she tried to feed me outside the church isn’t gonna fly.”

  Do I tell him the truth? He deserved the truth, but I couldn’t tell him everything without Ash’s consent. It was her story too.

  “We got close. We spent time together. We remembered why we were so close when we were younger.” I stopped and stared at him. There was one truth he needed to know, one truth that was mine to tell. But admitting it would probably kill any chance of us ever getting over this. It all boiled down to who was more important. My cousin, the one guy I’d always known would stand by me no matter what, my best friend. Then there was Ash, the one person I couldn’t live without, not anymore. “I love her.”

  Sawyer’s jaw dropped, then clenched within a second. He was gearing up to take a swing at me. I could see it in his stance.

  “You. Love. Her,” he repeated in angry disbelief. “Are you aware that I intend to marry her one day? What about you, Beau, huh? You planning on marrying her? Moving her into your mama’s trailer? Maybe she could get a job working here with Aunt Honey once her parents completely cut her off.”

  My fist slammed into his face before I knew what was happening. Sawyer staggered back, blood trickling down his nose. A loud roar erupted from his chest and he charged at me, tackling me to the ground. His fist connected with my jaw only because I knew I deserved it. But that was the last lick I’d take from him. The blood running down over his mouth from his nose had me doing everything in my power to constrain him. I didn’t want to hit him again, but I’d be damned if I’d let him hit me.

  “Stop it, both of you!” Mama yelled over our grunts, but Sawyer didn’t stop trying to take swings at me and I didn’t stop blocking his hits.

  “You’re a bastard, Beau. She’s a good girl. You can’t give her what I can.” Sawyer’s words caused me to temporarily lose my cool, and my fist planted onto the side of his face again. Damn. He needed to shut the hell up.

  “Shut up, Saw,” I yelled, shoving him off me and standing up.

  “It’s true and you know it. She’s just too stupid to realize it—” He didn’t finish his sentence before I had him flat on his back, holding him to the ground with my hand clamped over his throat.

  “Don’t ever call her stupid again,” I warned. He’d crossed a line. I loved him, but I loved her more.

  “That’s it. Get off him now, Beau,” Mama said. “This has gone on long enough. You two are letting a girl ruin your relationship. Neither of y’all are gonna marry her. You’re kids. She’s sweet and pretty, I’ll give y’all that, but she ain’t worth throwing away your family for.”

  Mama stood over us, her shadow covering Sawyer’s face. I eased up on my grip around his neck in case he was turning blue and I couldn’t tell.

  “He isn’t my family.” Sawyer’s words stung, but if he’d taken Ash from me, then I’d feel the same way. I released my choke hold on him and stood up again, putting distance between us. Never taking my eyes off him.

  “Sorry, kiddo, but being pissed at him over that girl don’t take away the blood running through your veins. Y’all are, and forever will be, family.”

  Sawyer sneered as he stood up and wiped the blood from his nose onto his shirt sleeve.

  “He’s just my dad’s loser brother’s bastard.”

  I didn’t react. He wanted me to, but I didn’t. Mama clicked her tongue like she always did when she knew something important no one else did. I let my eyes dart toward her for a second to see what she was up to.

  “Actually, Beau ain’t your daddy’s brother’s bastard. He’s your daddy’s bastard. The blood in his veins is the very same in yours, boy. Make no mistake ’bout that.”

  Frozen in my spot, I let Mama’s words sink in. I stumbled backward and grabbed the edge of the pool table for support as I stared at her, waiting for some sign that she was lying.

  “No” was Sawyer’s only response.

  I couldn’t look at him. Not now.

  “Yes. Ask your daddy. Hell, ask your mama. That ought to be loads of fun. She hates me anyhow. Might as well make her hate me more for lettin’ the cat outta the bag.”

  She was telling the truth. It was in her voice. I’d heard her lies all my life. I knew how to tell the difference.

  “No. You’re just a stupid whore. My dad would never.”

  Mama cackled and walked back around the bar to grab a towel. Then she slung it at Sawyer.

  “Wipe the blood off your face and go home. Once you realize I’m telling the truth, you and your brother can work things out. Like I said, ain’t no girl worth fighting over. You might want to ask your daddy about that, too. I’m sure he has an opinion on it. Seeing as the apple don’t fall far from the tree.”

  What was she saying? A bitter smile touched her lips.

  “I don’t know what’s worse. Finding out you’re white trash after all or having your mama try and foist you off on my dad.” Sawyer spat out the words before turning and walking back out the door
he’d come barreling through only fifteen minutes before.

  ASHTON

  “Well, Grana, I’m back. It’s time to face the music,” I said as I laid the single-stem pink rose on the headstone of Grana’s grave the next morning.

  I’d gotten up at four that morning, after spending the night with Leann, to make it back in time for school. I didn’t need an unexcused absence to add to my list of transgressions. My parents were probably going to ground me for life as it was.

  I sat down on the wooden bench at the foot of the grave. My mom had taken the bench from Grana’s porch and brought it here.

  “I messed up big. You weren’t here to run to, so I took off to Leann’s, which probably only made things worse. I even left church right after the choir solo. I doubt Mom and Dad know why yet, but I don’t think it really matters.”

  I took a sip of the mocha latte I’d picked up on my way into town. School didn’t start for another hour, and going home right now would be bad.

  “It’s all because of Beau. I love him. Crazy, huh? Beau Vincent, the town bad boy, and I have to love him. Me, the ex-girlfriend of his best friend and cousin. But he lets me be me, Grana. Just like you did. He isn’t bad like everyone thinks. No one knows his heart. They can’t look past his foul-mouth, beer-drinking, rebellious attitude to see he’s just a boy without a dad. No one reached out and tried to teach him any better. He was left alone to grow up. It isn’t fair. Everyone judges him even knowing he had no positive influence in his life. His uncle sure didn’t try to care for, discipline, or take an interest in him. I think he turned out wonderful despite the bad hand he was dealt. I hate how everyone judges others around here. They call this place the Bible Belt, but really, Grana, I think they all need to go read their Bibles a little more. I distinctly remember Jesus befriending sinners—not judging them. Beau just needs someone to believe in him, and I do.”

  I took another long gulp of my latte and leaned back on the bench. The church graveyard was quiet in the early-morning hour. A school bus passing was the only sign of life.