Rush Too Far: A Rosemary Beach Novel Read online

  Shit. Holy shit. My stomach felt sick. I leaned back on the sofa and put my arm around her. I wanted to pull her into my lap and console her. Tell her I’d do anything she asked to make this better. To fix this. To change the past, I would move heaven and hell. But I couldn’t do that. So I said all I could say. “I had no idea you had a twin sister.” That was a lie. I had known. But it was so easy to forget that the girl I knew these facts about was the same woman I was completely in love with. The one who suffered from what I had done.

  “We were identical. You couldn’t tell us apart. We had a lot of fun with that at school and with boys. Only Cain could tell us apart.”

  I slipped my hand into her hair and played with the silky strands. “How long did your parents know each other before they married?” I asked. I wanted to hear it from her. There was so much truth I was afraid I didn’t know. So many lies I had believed.

  “It was a love-at-first-sight kind of thing. Mom was visiting a friend of hers in Atlanta. Dad had recently broken up with her friend, and he came around one night when Mom was at her friend’s apartment alone. Her friend was a little wild, from what my mom said. Dad took one look at Mom, and he was sunk. I can’t blame him. My mom was gorgeous. She had my color hair, but she had the biggest green eyes. They were like jewels, almost, and she was fun. You were happy just to be near her. Nothing ever got her down. She smiled through everything. The only time I saw her cry was when she was told about Valerie. She crumpled to the floor and wailed that day. It would have frightened me if I hadn’t felt the same way. It was like part of my soul had been ripped out.” Blaire stopped, and I felt her quick intake of breath. I couldn’t imagine losing Nan or Grant. Yet she’d lost her twin. Then her father. Then her mother. My chest constricted in pain.

  I held her against me. “I’m so sorry, Blaire. I had no idea.”

  Blaire turned her head up and pressed her lips to mine hungrily.

  She was seeking comfort, and this was the only way she knew how to get it from me. I wanted her to know that she could climb into my arms, and that I’d hold her tight whenever she needed me. But I couldn’t say that right now. Not yet.

  “I love them. I will always love them, but I’m OK now. They’re together. They have each other,” she said, pulling back from the kiss. She was trying to make me feel better. She had lost them, and she was trying to comfort me about it.

  “Who do you have?” I asked, feeling more emotion than I’d ever felt in my life.

  “I have me. I found out three years ago, when my mom got sick, that as long as I held on to me and didn’t forget who I was, I’d always be OK,” she said with determination.

  I couldn’t breathe. Fuck that. I didn’t deserve to breathe.

  She was so damn strong. She had faced hell, and she was still finding reasons to smile. She didn’t think she needed anyone. But God, I needed her. I wasn’t as strong as she was. I didn’t deserve her. But I wasn’t a good guy. I would never do the right thing and stop this, because I wouldn’t be able to physically watch her walk away. Panic and desperation settled in my chest.

  “I need you. Right now. Let me love you right here, please,” I begged her. I was ready to plead. This wasn’t right. She needed someone to listen to her and hold her, but here I was begging her to take care of me.

  Blaire pulled her shirt off and reached for mine. I lifted my arms and let her take it off me. I liked having her undress me. Reaching behind her, I unsnapped her bra and threw it aside. Cupping her full breasts in my hands, I let their heaviness fill my palms.

  “You are so fucking unbelievably gorgeous. Inside and out,” I told her. “As much as I don’t deserve it, I want to be buried inside you. I can’t wait. I just need to get as close to you as I can get.”

  Blaire moved away from me, causing her breasts to sway and bounce. My mouth watered, and my palms itched to reach out and squeeze them. Fondle their perfect satin plumpness in my hands again. Then she started taking off her shoes. My eyes fell to her hands, which were now working on the button on her shorts. She was stripping for me. No bashfulness about her body like this morning. I wasn’t going to have to coax her clothes off again.

  She shimmied and stepped out of her shorts, and I was pretty sure I was panting loudly.

  “Get naked,” she demanded, and her gaze dropped to my obvious arousal.

  Holy shit. Where had my sweet Blaire gone? I didn’t argue. I stood and discarded my jeans, then reached for her and pulled her toward me as I sat back down. “Straddle me,” I told her.

  She did as instructed. Her thighs were open, and the sweetness of her heat met my nose. I wanted to taste her. But that would have to wait.

  “Now,” I managed to say through the emotion in my voice. “Ease down on me.”

  I grabbed my cock and held it so she could sink down on me. I wasn’t sure if this was a good position for just her second time, but I wanted to try. She held on to my shoulders with both hands.

  “Easy, baby. Slow and easy. You’re gonna be sore.”

  She nodded just as my tip brushed against her opening. I moved it over her slit, causing her to tremble as I brushed her clit with it.

  “That’s it. You’re getting so fucking wet. God, I want to taste it.” I knew she liked me to tell her what I was thinking. I loved being able to talk dirty to her and not scare her.

  Her gaze locked with mine, and she shifted until I was brushing her entrance. Her small, perfect white teeth came out and bit down on her bottom lip, and then she sank down on me hard and fast. Her cry echoed through the room, and I removed my hand, letting her take me completely.

  “Shit!” I groaned as her heat squeezed me tightly with that insane suction that had driven me mad last night. Somehow it was more intense tonight. She was hotter, and holy fuck, she was wet. Like slick velvet encasing me until she killed me from the pleasure.

  I had started to ask if she was OK when her mouth covered mine and her tongue tangled wildly with mine. Her taste. Oh, God, her taste was so good. I cupped her face with my hands and devoured her mouth. Both my tongue and my dick were buried inside Blaire’s sweet body, and I fought to keep from grabbing her and fucking her like a maniac. She threw her head back and grabbed my shoulders tighter, then began riding me like she couldn’t get enough. The fear that she was in pain vanished when I took in the look of pure bliss on her face as she rode me hard and fast. My gaze dropped to her tits, bouncing with each time she lifted and slammed back down onto my cock.

  “Blaire, oh, holy fuck, Blaire,” I growled, unable to believe this.

  My hands grabbed her waist, and I lost my mind. I wanted to cherish her, but damn, I wanted to fuck her, too. I wanted to fuck her body with complete abandon. It was the most exciting, mind-blowing thing I’d ever experienced.

  “Shit, baby. GOD, Blaire. Yeah, that’s it baby girl, fuck me.” The words were pouring out of my mouth and I couldn’t stop myself. “Your tight pussy is fucking perfect. Sucking my dick, shit, no pussy should feel this good. Holy hell, baby. That’s it. Fuck me. Fuck me, Blaire. Sweetest fucking pussy in the world.” Then it hit me. I had never fucked without a condom before. Holy fuck, I wasn’t wearing a condom. I was clean. I had been checked recently. I never went without a condom, but . . . she squeezed me, and I couldn’t make myself care. God, I wanted this with her. Nothing between us.

  Blaire’s movements changed, and she began rocking back and forth. My mouth greedily searched for her nipples and sucked at them as they bounced in front of me. “I’m gonna come,” she moaned, rocking harder.

  “Fuck, baby, so good.”

  And then she was screaming my name, jerking against me as her body shuddered. I exploded inside her, wrapping my arms around her waist to keep from falling off the fucking earth without her. Her name fell from my lips more than once. My body vibrated and trembled as I fought to breathe. My release shot inside her, marking her. The beast inside me roared to life. Mine. Mine. Mine.

  Blaire’s sex was still clenching me tightl
y as spasms hit her body. Each time she clamped down on my cock, I cried out. It was like I was coming again over and over. There wasn’t an end to this.

  Finally, her body began to relax, releasing my dick from the clamp of pure nirvana it had been pulled into. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and she fell into me, completely spent.

  “Never. Never in all my life,” I managed to gasp through the lack of oxygen. “That was . . . God, Blaire, I don’t have words.” I couldn’t stop touching her. Stroking her back and cupping her ass in my hands, I let my body enjoy the aftermath.

  “I believe the word you are looking for is epic,” Blaire said. Laughter bubbled up from her chest, and she leaned back to look at me.

  “The most epic sex ever known to man,” I assured her. “I’m ruined. You know that, right? You’ve ruined me.”

  She wiggled on my lap. I was still buried inside her. I wasn’t ready to move just yet. The fact that my cock could even stir again this soon after sex surprised me. “Hmmm, no, I think you might still work,” she said, grinning wickedly.

  “God, woman, you’re gonna have me hard and ready again. I need to clean you up,” I told her.

  She stared at me with an emotion I was too scared to hope for, then traced my bottom lip with the tip of her finger. “I won’t bleed again. I did that already,” she said shyly.

  I pulled her finger into my mouth and sucked on it. I knew I had to tell her. She hadn’t realized the impact of having sex without a condom yet. I didn’t want to ruin this moment, but she had to know I didn’t have anything that could harm her. And if she wasn’t on birth control, it was still very unlikely that we had just made a baby. It took most couples months of trying. One mishap wouldn’t do it. “I wasn’t wearing a condom. I’m clean, though. I always wear a condom, and I get checked regularly,” I told her calmly.

  She didn’t move or speak.

  Shit. “I’m sorry. You got naked, and my brain kind of checked out. I promise you I’m clean,” I assured her.

  “No, it’s OK. I believe you. I didn’t think about it, either,” she said, the shock still on her face.

  I pulled her back against me. “Good, because that was fucking unbelievable. I’ve never felt it without a condom. Knowing I was in you and feeling you bare makes me real damn happy. You felt amazing. All hot and wet and so very tight.”

  She rocked against me, and my cock started growing again. God, she felt good. “Mmm,” she murmured.

  I wanted more. Like this. Just here. But . . . “Are you on any birth control?”

  She shook her head. Of course she wasn’t. She had no reason to be. We were going to have to change that, though. I would have to have her bare again. Now that I knew how she felt, there was no going back.

  Groaning, I moved her until I was no longer buried inside her. “We can’t do that again until you are. But you’ve got me all hard again.” I reached down and ran my finger over her swollen clit. She was already turned on again, too. “So sexy ,” I whispered, as I watched the small bud pulse against my thumb. She threw her head back and moaned. I needed to have her again. I would pull out this time. I just . . . oh, fuck, I had to be inside her. “Blaire, come take a shower with me,” I said.

  “OK.”

  She let me guide her to the bathroom. I turned on the heated floors when we walked in so that the marble floor wouldn’t be so cold to her bare feet. Then I turned on the shower heads and the steamer option. Turning back, I took her hand. “I want you in the shower. What we did out there was the best fuck I’ve ever had in my life. But in here, it’s gonna be slower. I’ll take care of you.” I pulled her into the large shower. Water hit us from directly overhead and from the two shower heads mounted on each side wall. Closing the door, I pressed the sealer so that the steam would fill the shower.

  Blaire was looking around with awe. “I didn’t know they made showers this big or this complicated. You have water coming from everywhere—and is that steam?”

  Grinning, I pulled her over toward the large bench. “Hold on to my shoulders,” I told her, before reaching down, taking her leg, and lifting it until her foot was on the bench. Her pussy was completely open to me, and I didn’t say anything more. I filled my hands with body wash and worked it into a lather before moving to wash the insides of her thighs.

  “Rush!” She gasped, squeezing my shoulders and leaning into me more.

  I continued washing my come off her thighs, where it had leaked out of her, making them sticky. Lifting my head, I watched her face as I touched her tender folds. I didn’t want to burn or sting her, I just wanted to clean her.

  Her eyelids fluttered closed, and she moaned and rocked against my hand. I’d wanted to wash her first, before I sank back into her again, but if she kept this up, I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself.

  “Feel good?” I asked her. She only nodded. Her eyes closed, and her head tilted slightly back. The water had soaked her hair, and it was slicked back off her face. I trailed kisses across her forehead and down her cheeks as I continued to wash her. “Is it sore?” I asked against her ear.

  She shivered. “Yes. But I like being sore. Knowing that you made me sore from . . .” She paused. “Fucking me,” she finished in a whisper.

  “Blaire, baby, I’m gonna have to fuck you now. You shouldn’t have said that dirty word. I can’t keep being good and making you feel better.” The edge in my voice gave away how close I was to grabbing her and bending her over.

  She opened her eyes, and the heat in her gaze burned me. “Will you fuck me against the wall?” she asked, her breathing heavy.

  “Any way you want, sweet Blaire.”

  I cupped my hands and filled them with water, which I used to clean the soap between her legs. When I had it all off, I grabbed her and shoved her against the wall. But I caught myself. I was doing it sweet and easy now. She might say she liked it, but tomorrow she would be tender, and I had to remember to be gentle.

  “I’m not using a condom. I can’t. I need to feel you. But I swear I’ll pull out before I come,” I told her.

  “OK. Just please, Rush, put it in,” she begged.

  My control snapped.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Opening my eyes against the bright sunlight, I squinted, realizing I had forgotten to close the blinds last night. Then Blaire’s scent hit me, and I rolled over to an empty bed. Shit. She was gone.

  I had slept through her leaving for work. Dammit. I had wanted to kiss her good morning. Did she remember to eat breakfast? Frustrated, I threw the covers off and sat up. Blaire had a job. I had to accept that. She wouldn’t let me not accept it. Even if it sucked. I didn’t like her working so much, especially after I had kept her busy most of the night. There had been very little sleep.

  She was going to be so tired today. When she got off work, I would feed her and then give her a massage and bathe her. Tonight I would make up for the fact that I had fucked her like a madman all night. We would go to bed early. She would get her rest. I could keep from fucking her for one night. But I would probably eat her pussy. I only had so much selfrestraint.

  I decided to skip a shower. I could smell Blaire on my skin, and I wasn’t willing to wash that off just yet. I wanted to be reminded for the rest of the day of how fucking lucky I was.

  By the time I had made my way downstairs to get something to eat, it was almost noon. The doorbell chimed, and urgent knocking followed. “Rush! Open the door! My hands are full!” Nan yelled from the other side.

  Crap.

  I opened the door, and my sister stood there with her hair up in large rollers, several shopping bags, and a garment bag that said “Marc Jacobs.” What the hell?

  “Nan, why are you at my door with shopping bags? And last time I checked, there wasn’t a Marc Jacobs or”—I glanced at the bags in her hands—“Burberry or Chanel or Saks in Rosemary Beach. Where did this shit come from?”

  Nan dropped her bags and looked at me like I was the one who had lost my mind. “Manhattan
. I bought them when I was there last month. I have two dresses from Marc Jacobs that I’m just not sure about. And then the shoes . . . that’s another story. I can’t even begin to decide. I need to know what you plan on wearing, and I need to use the bathroom in Mom’s room for my stylist to fix my hair and makeup. There’s more room here than at my place. Besides, this way, we can ride together,” she said, as if any of what she was saying made sense.

  I had no idea what the hell she thought I was doing, but if a naked Blaire wasn’t involved, neither was I. “What are you talking about?” I asked, wishing I had gotten at least one cup of coffee before Nan had arrived with her crazy ranting.

  She froze halfway up the stairs and turned to look at me. Her face said drama was about to ensue. Shit. “Tonight, Rush. Did you forget? Really?” Nan’s voice went an octave higher, and I knew she was about to get hysterical.

  Fuck, I needed some coffee.

  “Oh, my God! You did forget. You’re so wrapped up in her that you can’t remember something this important to me.” Nan was now yelling.

  I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, hoping I wouldn’t end up with a headache from this. I just wanted to drink coffee and plan my evening with Blaire. Not this mess. “Nan, I just woke up. Please stop yelling at me,” I said.

  “Stop yelling? You’re really going to tell me to stop yelling when my own brother forgot that tonight is the debutante ball? I’ve been planning my debutante ball since I was five. You know that. You know how important tonight is. But you forgot!”

  Motherfucker. I did not want to escort my sister to a ball where a bunch of spoiled females dressed up and tried to outdo one another for hours. Blaire did not factor into this equation, and I wanted to be with Blaire.

  “You don’t want to go,” Nan said with a loud wail. She sounded like a child.

  “I forgot. I’m sorry. But you haven’t mentioned it in months, and you know this isn’t my thing.”

  Nan threw down the bag in her hand.

  Great. We were going to have a temper tantrum with articles of clothing that cost me a fucking fortune. Blaire was working her ass off daily, and my sister was buying shoes with my money that cost more than Blaire could make in two weeks. Fucking unfair. I hated this. I hated not being able to give Blaire everything she wanted.