Rush Too Far: A Rosemary Beach Novel Page 18

  The relief that ran through me made my knees go weak. I had to keep my cool. I couldn’t scare her with my intensity. Hell, it scared me. “I’m thinking sex on the sixteenth hole by the lake would be nice.”

  Blaire tilted her head to the side and acted like she was considering it. “Hmmm . . . problem is, I’m supposed to change and go work in the kitchen the rest of the night.”

  Not what I wanted to hear. “Shit.”

  She stepped closer to me and pressed a kiss to my jaw. “You have a sister to escort,” she said.

  I wasn’t going to make it through tonight. “All I can think about is being inside you. Having you pressed close to me and hearing you make those sexy-ass little moans.”

  Desire flickered in Blaire’s eyes as her pupils dilated.

  I decided to keep talking, since she liked it. “If I could walk away from you easily, I’d take you into that office and press you up against the wall and bury myself deep inside. But I can’t have a quickie with you. You’re too damn addictive.”

  Blaire’s hands were still on my shoulders. She squeezed them, and her breathing hitched.

  “Go change. I’ll stand out here so I’m not tempted. Then I’ll walk you back to the kitchen,” I told her.

  She took a deep breath, then stepped back and went in to change.

  The temptation to go in there with her and make love to her before sending her back to work was hard to ignore. But she wanted to finish working tonight. It was important to her. I wanted to prove to her that what was important to her was important to me.

  When she walked back out, she was wearing a clean cartgirl uniform and smiling at me.

  “Sure you don’t want to take me back to the sixteenth hole? I promise I’ll be quick. Just let me lick your pussy until you come.”

  Blaire trembled and let out a shaky breath. “Rush, don’t say that. I can’t. I have to go back to work, and I don’t want Jimmy wondering why I’m a jumble of nerves.”

  Smiling, I reached for her hand and threaded my fingers through hers. “You clean up well,” I told her teasingly.

  Blaire giggled. “I sure smell better now, too,” she said.

  I tugged her over to my side and ducked my head to inhale her. “You always smell amazing, sweet Blaire.”

  She leaned into me, and I moved my hand to tuck her beside me as I walked her back into the building and to the kitchen door.

  “I’m gonna kiss you. I know you’re at work, but right now, I just don’t care. I need to taste you.” I leaned down to press my lips against hers. I licked her bottom lip, pulled it into my mouth and sucked, then let it go with a reluctant peck.

  Blaire shot me one last grin before leaving me standing there without her.

  Going through the motions and finishing the night had been hell. But I’d made it, and Nan seemed happy. She chatted on the way back to the house about a shopping trip she wanted to take with Paris and asked if I had talked to Mom lately.

  When Nan had driven away I let out a sigh of relief and went inside the house. Blaire would be home soon, and I was still giving her that massage. She more than needed it now. She’d been going all damn day.

  I walked through the kitchen on my way to the stairs. The empty bottle of beer and the wineglass sitting on the bar stopped me in my tracks. At that moment, the world felt like it had ceased spinning and I was moving in slow motion toward the glass.

  Familiar red lipstick on the glass made my stomach turn. Fuck, no. Not yet. God, not yet. I needed tonight. Motherfucker. I needed one more night. She wasn’t ready. I had to plan this. Shit!

  I headed for the stairs and took them two at a time, needing to see for myself. As I walked down the hall, I saw that the door to my mother’s room was closed. They were in there. I knew they were. That door was normally open. I didn’t touch the door. I was afraid to see them. I was afraid they would destroy this. They would tell her everything and send her away from me.

  No.

  God, no.

  No, no, no.

  She didn’t come home for hours. I didn’t know how many; I just knew it was late. I had been sitting outside my door on the floor, waiting for her. Staring straight ahead. Needing to see her and hold her and know she was here with me. She wasn’t gone.

  The sound of the front door opening sent my heart into a wild frenzy. Blaire was home. This could be it. The end. No. No. No. I wouldn’t allow it. I would make her love me. Make her forgive me.

  When she stopped on the top step and saw me, I sat there and took her in. My sweet Blaire. She had shown up and stolen a piece of my heart without opening her mouth. Then she’d consumed me. Taken it all. I had let her have it freely.

  She started walking toward me, and I stood up and went to her. “I need you upstairs. Now.” The desperation in my voice seemed to surprise her, but she didn’t question me.

  I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward my door. I had to hurry and get her tucked safely into my room. Away from them. I tugged her inside and closed the door, before turning to her and pressing her against the wall.

  I ran my hands down her body, memorizing each curve. It wasn’t enough. I needed the clothes off. Grabbing the front of the shirt she was wearing, I ripped it open. I didn’t have time for buttons. She gasped, and I covered her mouth with mine. I stabbed her sweet warmth with my tongue over and over, while I made quick work of the snap of her shorts and jerked them down her legs. She was naked. My Blaire. My perfect, sweet Blaire.

  Growling against her mouth, I knew I needed more. She wasn’t leaving me. I couldn’t let her leave me. I pushed her back onto the steps and jerked her shoes off, then pulled her shorts and panties the rest of the way off. Completely naked. Just for me to see. No one else. Ever. Just for me.

  Falling to my knees, I pushed her legs apart and ran my tongue up her slit, lapping at the clit that was already swollen and ready for me. Blaire cried out my name and fell back on her elbows. Her thighs fell open more as I slid my tongue inside her, before running it along the tender folds again. My name was a chant on her lips. I began kissing the soft skin of her thighs, and she trembled with needy whimpers.

  “Mine. This is mine.” Lifting my head, I looked at her. “Mine. This sweet pussy is mine, Blaire.” It was mine.

  She shuddered as I pressed my finger inside her heat.

  “Tell me it’s mine,” I demanded.

  She nodded as I slipped my finger further inside her.

  “Tell me it’s mine,” I repeated.

  “It’s yours. Now, please, Rush, fuck me,” she said, panting.

  Yes! That was my girl. Yes, she was mine. She needed to know she was mine. This was mine. Standing up, I jerked down the pajama pants I’d been wearing and kicked them aside. “No condom tonight. I’ll pull out. I just need to feel all of you,” I told her.

  I would never put a condom between us again. I never wanted to be separated from her. Grabbing her thighs, I moved her up as I shifted down and lined my cock up with her entrance. I couldn’t slam into her if she was sore. God, she had to be so damn tired, but I had to have her. Slowly, I moved inside her.

  “Does it hurt?” I asked, holding myself over her.

  “It feels good,” she said with a sigh.

  I was going to hurt her. I stopped and pulled out. “These stairs are too hard for you. Come here.”

  I picked her up in my arms and carried her up the stairs. She was too fragile tonight to press against the hard wooden stairs.

  “Will you do something for me?” I asked her, peppering kisses on her nose and eyelids while I stood beside my bed.

  “Yes,” she replied.

  I set her down on the floor and held on to her, even after her feet touched the rug. “Bend over and lay your chest flat on the bed. Put your hands over your head, and leave your ass stuck up in the air.”

  I had fantasized about seeing her this way. She didn’t ask why or argue. She simply did it. Knowing she wanted to please me so easily made the panic grow. She was it for me.
She had to know that.

  I ran my hand over the round, smooth ass that she so willingly presented to me. “You have the most perfect ass I’ve ever seen,” I told her as I caressed it. Taking a firm hold of her hips and moving her legs farther apart, I entered her in one thrust.

  “Rush!” Blaire cried out.

  “Fuck, I’m deep.” I groaned, and my eyes rolled back in my head. Better than I had imagined. It was always more with her. Always fucking more.

  I began pumping inside her. She pressed back against me and grabbed handfuls of sheets as she made loud moans and pleas for more.

  Hearing her pleasure made me push harder. I couldn’t get deep enough. I wanted to live in here. Locked inside her. The tight suction grabbed my cock, making my knees buckle. I was close. Reaching down between her legs, I slid my hand over her pussy. “God, you’re soaking wet.”

  My words were all it took. Blaire bucked back against me wildly, calling out my name. It took all my control to pull out of her and shoot my release onto her ass. I wanted it inside her. My pleasure mixed with hers. But I couldn’t do that again. Yet.

  “Gaaaah!” I yelled, as my cock jerked in my hands and shot my load all over her smooth back. Seeing myself there made me feel like I had marked her. I could see it. Me all over her. “Damn, baby, if you only knew how fucking incredible your ass looks right now,” I said.

  She fell onto the bed, no longer able to hold herself up. She turned her head to the side to look at me. “Why?”

  She didn’t realize where I had shot my release. “Let’s just say I need to clean you up,” I explained.

  A giggle burst out of her, and she buried her face in the covers.

  I loved hearing her laugh. I also loved standing here and staring at her ass covered in my come. Those two things combined were pretty damn awesome.

  She needed to sleep. I couldn’t make her lie here with my come on her because I was a fucking caveman. Moving around her, I headed for the bathroom and got a warm, wet washcloth, then headed back into the room.

  I could see her eyes follow me and the sleepy, satisfied smile on her face. I had put that smile there. I didn’t know if she was supposed to work tomorrow or not, but she wasn’t working. I would deal with it. I had to talk to her. She had to know.

  Her dad was here. It was time I faced it and fought for her.

  I cleaned the come off her bottom. “All clean, baby. You can crawl on up and get covered up. I’ll be right back,” I told her.

  But she didn’t move. I walked around and looked at her face. She was sound asleep. I smiled at the thought of her falling asleep while I was cleaning her up. The possessive beast within beat on his chest.

  I picked her up and moved her to the pillow, then covered her carefully. Leaning down, I pressed a kiss to her head. “I will fix this. I swear I will make it right. I love you enough to get us through this. I just need you to love me enough. Please, Blaire. Love me enough,” I pleaded.

  She didn’t move. Her slow, even breathing never changed. But I hoped she heard me in her sleep. And that tomorrow she would remember.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  I couldn’t sleep. I lay there for hours, watching Blaire sleep in my arms. She had curled up against me and clung to me as if I were her only warmth. The fear that I might never have this again was very real. As much as I didn’t want to believe she would leave me, I knew I could lose her. How would I survive that? I pulled her closer to me and held her tighter. If I could just take her and run away. Never let her know the awful truth. Why did I always have to hurt her, when all I wanted to do was protect her?

  “I love you,” I whispered into her hair.

  That had to be enough for us.

  I watched the sun come up and the morning grow brighter. Blaire needed sleep. She’d probably sleep until noon. I had to talk to my mother and Abe before Blaire woke up. They needed to know how I felt about her. She had become my top priority. That had to be made clear.

  Closing my eyes, I inhaled her and soaked in the feel of her in my arms. So trusting. Forcing myself to get out of bed, I moved her over and out of my arms. I was ready to go downstairs and deal with the truth. The ugly, horrible, sordid truth that was going to hurt her. I couldn’t stop that. I could just hope that I was enough to help her heal.

  I

  I pulled on my clothes and headed for the stairs, then stopped and looked back at Blaire lying in my bed. She was curled up in the covers now. Her long blond hair was fanned out over my pillow. As a child, I had often wondered if angels were real. By the time I was ten, I had decided they weren’t. That was all bullshit. I realized now that I’d been wrong.

  Blaire was my angel.

  Abe was standing in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee and looking out the window. This was the man who had abandoned my Blaire. He’d let her bury her mother and left her to figure it out all on her own.

  I hated him.

  He didn’t deserve Blaire.

  Abe turned and met my glare. A frown tugged on his mouth, and he took another sip of coffee before turning to look out the window again. He was used to my hatred. But he had no idea how high it had risen since he’d seen me last. I wanted to start ripping his arms off his body. Just looking at him infuriated me.

  “Are you going to ask about her?” I snarled.

  He shrugged. “She’s here, I assume.” He assumed. He didn’t care. He just assumed.

  “What fucked you up so badly that you could be so heartless?” I asked, hate laced in my words.

  “A pain like you could never understand, boy,” he replied. His voice was empty of emotion.

  “She buried her mother by herself, you son of a bitch. And you knew it.”

  He didn’t reply.

  “She is so fucking innocent and alone,” I said, needing him to acknowledge her, or I was going to lose my shit.

  “She isn’t anymore, is she? Innocent and alone, that is,” he said.

  My anger hit a boiling point, and I moved across the kitchen. He turned just in time for me to grab him and throw him up against the wall. “You motherfucking piece of shit! Do not ever, and I fucking mean ever, insinuate for a minute that Blaire is anything less than innocent. I will end you! I don’t give a fuck who wants you!” I was yelling.

  Abe had dropped his coffee, and the cup had shattered on the floor, but I ignored it. He didn’t look like he cared. There was an emptiness in this man that I didn’t understand. It was as if he had no soul. “Did you sleep with her?” he said calmly.

  I slammed him against the wall again, hard enough to rattle the walls and send plates falling to join the broken cup. “Shut up!” I roared.

  “Rush!” My mother’s hysterical voice broke through my rage.

  “Not your business, Mom,” I said, not taking my eyes off the man I was ready to murder with my bare hands.

  “Doesn’t sound like she’s alone anymore, either,” Abe said.

  I swallowed the fear that was clawing at my chest. “She’s not. She never will be. I’ll always be there for her. I’ll keep her safe. I’ll take care of her. She will always have me.”

  “Who? What are you talking about, Rush? Let Abe go!” My mother was beside me, pulling on my arm.

  Blaire was going to come downstairs soon. I couldn’t kill her father. Not unless she asked me to. Then he was a dead man. I let go of him and stepped back. “Careful how you speak about her. I want nothing more than to see you suffer,” I warned him.

  “Rush, that is enough!” My mother’s nails dug into my arm, and I jerked free of her.

  “Don’t you touch me, either. You wanted this sack of shit in our lives. You let him leave her.” I pointed my finger at her.

  My mother’s shock grew to confusion as she looked around her at the broken things. “You’ve made a mess in here. Go into the living room before someone gets cut. I need an explanation for your behavior,” she said, walking out of the room and expecting us to follow.

  I watched her go, then looked o
ver at Abe.

  “Nothing you can do to me will compare to the suffering I’ve been through,” Abe said, and then he turned and followed my mother out of the kitchen.

  How did that man raise someone like Blaire? I didn’t understand how that woman upstairs in my bed could be a product of this man. Nan I could see, but not Blaire.

  I had to talk to my mother and Abe. It was why I had gotten up and left my bed with Blaire still tucked in it. I walked into the living room, and my mother looked at me with a gaping mouth. Apparently, Abe had told her something.

  “You . . . you . . . I can’t believe you, Rush. I know you have a problem with sleeping around, but you have to draw the line somewhere. That girl used her body to manipulate you.”

  I shook my head and stalked toward my mother. I was done with hearing them talk about Blaire. I no longer cared who the hell said it, they would pay.

  Abe stepped between us, but his attention was on my mother. “Be careful what you say about her. Blaire is my daughter.” The warning in his tone surprised me. It didn’t make up for his other shit, but he had defended her.

  “I can’t believe you, Rush. What were you thinking? You know who she is? What she means to this family?” my mother said in a horrified tone, like I had committed a crime. She blamed Blaire for something that was never her fault. How insane was this thought process my family believed in so much?

  “You can’t hold her responsible. She wasn’t even born yet. You have no idea what all she’s been through. What he has put her through,” I said, pointing at Abe. Because I did know, and I would never forget it.

  “Don’t go getting all high and mighty. You were the one who went and found him for me. So whatever he put her through, you started it all. Then you go and sleep with her? Really, Rush. My God, what were you thinking? You’re just like your father.” My mother loved accusing me of being just like Dean when she was mad at me. I was just thankful that I was nothing like her.

  “Remember who owns this house, Mother,” I reminded her.

  “Can you believe this? He’s turning on me over a girl he just met. Abe, you have to do something.”