Like a Memory Page 6

  “No, we aren’t.” I argued.

  “We are if you stop and talk.”

  “I was only going to be polite.”

  “He doesn’t need polite. Doesn’t fucking deserve it.”

  I jerked my arm loose from Eli. “What is your problem? Are you mad at him because he doesn’t remember me? Eli, let that go. It was a long time back. I was a kid. I’ve changed. So has he.”

  I turned my attention back to Nate. He was watching us like a hawk. Like he expected something to explode. I got the feeling there was more to this than I realized was currently happening. Had they talked today? Had words? Did Eli say something he shouldn’t?

  “What’s going on?” I asked Eli in a whisper. Yes, something had occurred.

  He glared at Nate. “Nothing. Not a thing.”

  “Eli,” I warned, “something’s going on.” He knew I’d discover the truth. No reason to hide it now.

  “Why don’t you ask him?” His tone was full of anger as he continued glaring. Eli then walked off, leaving me there with Nate. I watched as he stalked towards the car, completely baffled at his behavior.

  Turning my attention back to Nate I asked “what the heck happened?”

  Nate looked as confused as me. “Not sure. He was really upset.”

  Great, Eli was crazed over nothing and there’d been no reason for this. Nate would know if there was.

  “I’m sorry. He’s been acting weird all day. I’m trying to figure out what’s bothering him.”

  Nate nodded as if he understood.

  “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I said it and started for the car.

  “Bliss.” His voice stopped me.

  “Yes?”

  He stared at me for a moment. It made me nervous, I wanted to fix my hair or check and see if there was something in my teeth. Those silver eyes made me a mess. They always had and always would.

  “When did you beat cancer?”

  I felt myself break. My heart plummeted. Right there lost in his eyes. He knew. I wasn’t a stranger. I was a healthy female that worked for his fiancé. Not the girl he once knew. I was A.C., no longer B.C. And they were different. Vastly different.

  He’d never look at me the same way again. And I knew Eli was to blame.

  Nate Finlay

  THERE. SHE KNEW. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. Knowing she had fought and won against cancer since we’d last seen one another made me feel like an even bigger bastard for pretending not to remember her. She remained quiet about it. Not reminding me. Not trying to get me to remember her. Most girls would’ve been upset and dramatic, needing to draw attention.

  Not Bliss. She said nothing at all. Did her job and smiled when I made her. The joy that had originally drawn me to her was still there as if it never left. Even after all she’d been through. I was the world’s biggest jackass. I intended to rectify that. If it was humanly possible I would.

  “Who told you?” Finally, she spoke the words. She’d been staring at me for a while, as if she wasn’t sure what to say, or if she’d heard me correctly. There was sadness. She didn’t want me to know. But why? Perhaps I didn’t deserve to.

  “Does that matter?”

  She nodded. “Yes. It does.”

  “Bliss, let’s go, we’re going to be late,” Eli called out to her. She didn’t look at him or speak. There was a flash of anger in her eyes and I realized she was mad at Eli.

  “He didn’t tell me,” I replied, although I don’t know why. I kind of liked the idea of her being angry with him over something like that. He fit so perfectly into her life. Eli was able to be with her through every moment of the day if he chose to. I wasn’t. I hadn’t been given a Bliss. I’d chosen, instead, an Octavia.

  “Then who?” she asked again, this time with obvious anger in her voice. It was sexy, she was never angry, or hell, never even ornery. She made “pissed off” look good.

  “My grandfather. He thought I knew and mentioned it, while we were eating at his place.”

  Her anger quickly faded. The sadness was back in an instant. She stood there for a moment bewildered. “Okay,” she whispered, turning to leave, but I couldn’t let her go. “Wait,” I called after Bliss. She knew the truth that I’d been a lying asshole and she hadn’t even mentioned it. I needed more. A slap in the face? She could yell at me if she chose to.

  She paused and with an obvious sigh turned back to me to speak.

  “I’m sorry,” was all I could say. I was, more so than I’d ever been for anything I’d ever done.

  “For what?”

  Did she actually have to ask me that? I would’ve thought the reason was obvious. I had a mountain of shit to be sorry for. “For letting you believe I didn’t remember you. I thought it was for the best. But it was wrong. A cruel thing to do.”

  “Oh. I just thought I was forgettable.” She shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head. “That was a million years ago. We’ve both lived another life since then.”

  She’d survived through a hell that changed her. Robbing Bliss of experiences she should have had, yet she didn’t complain in the least. “I’d like to know the woman you’ve become. We were friends once, before I kissed you. We could be friends again.”

  As I said the words I realized I didn’t have that many real friends. The relationship she had with Eli was unique. That, I had with no one. Lila Kate and I could’ve had that. If our mothers hadn’t intended us to marry. We’d never gotten too close. Our mothers’ hopes would rise if we did.

  Octavia wasn’t my friend. We didn’t talk about much. She talked about her store, parties to attend and the wedding, stuff like that. The way Bliss and I talked yesterday at my grandpops was a thing I wanted more of. That could be asking for trouble. A fucking load of trouble, but I wanted it.

  “I don’t think that’s possible Nate.” Her voice was soft as she said it and it waivered as if she didn’t want to say or believe her own words. Then she left me standing there. Watching her go.

  Eli was waiting at his truck. The look on his face said it all. She may see him as a friend, but he saw her as more than that. I believed he always had. There was a possessiveness in his stance. The way he held her door and watched me. Waiting to see if I spoke.

  I met his gaze and the warning was clear. He was staking his claim silently. Just for me. I understood it. That made more sense than what Bliss believed they were. A girl like that didn’t have a guy as “just a friend” not when you looked like Bliss. Any fucking man would want more from her. She was the perfect package of beauty and innocence, nothing ugly about her; inside or out, and you could see it.

  Other than Bliss I’d never seen that combination in a woman and trust me, I’ve looked. A lot. More than I should have. After my summer with her I measured every female by her standards. Until I convinced myself that what I was remembering was an illusion, because we’re all imperfect. I let it go and the line of beauties that followed had little more than unbelievable bodies. That was their selling point.

  Octavia was a drama free selection. Easy, unchallenging and simple. She had been a relief. What I thought I was looking for. Until I came back here. Until I saw Bliss again. Then I remembered what perfect actually was. What I wouldn’t have. What I had once had.

  Eli opened the door for her and I watched as she climbed inside. He spoke to Bliss, she only nodded, Eli quickly closing the door. Again, he looked at me. If Bliss were anyone else I’d take that as a challenge. I’d win. I always did. But this wasn’t a game I would play.

  She was what I knew I couldn’t touch. My world wasn’t for her. She was Sea Breeze and her world was here. Mine was out there waiting. Getting the hell out of one coastal town and settling in another wasn’t change. It was another fucking coastal town.

  What I wanted was Bliss’s friendship. Being friends with her would be the hardest damn thing I ever did but I could do it. Eli was what Bliss needed. I was made for the Octavia’s of the world. No matter what my mom believed. She had other id
eas concerning me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her how off she was about her son.

  I was my father’s son. But there wouldn’t be a Blaire to save me. I wasn’t open to that. Bliss wasn’t going to change me. Just for this summer I’d like for her to be exactly as she was back then. To feel truly happy, full of hope, and alive as I’d once remembered. Life became dark at times. Bliss knew that better than anyone. Yet, she lived with a smile, maintained that hope in her eyes. For three months I could enjoy it.

  Getting past Eli was the problem. He didn’t trust me. Didn’t even like me. I thought about how much he’d hated me seven years ago. Bliss had been naïve, hadn’t seen it. I did and hadn’t cared.

  Bliss York

  “IS HE EVER going to realize she doesn’t like him?” Crimson disgustedly asked as she came to stand beside me. I searched for Cruz knowing it was him we were discussing without any explanation. He was, as always, talking to Hadley. Poor boy was fixated on her.

  Hadley had flown in on her father’s private jet with her parents and sister for this party. In the morning they’d return to their home in Beverly Hills. In June, they’d come back, to yet another house, the one here they occupied for the summer. She lived a life so distant from any of ours that none of us was close to her.

  “He has to try,” I replied. The real issue here was that Crimson had, as of late, become interested in Cruz . . . again. It wasn’t the first time. When they were little they were inseparable. Much like Eli and me. But Crimson had always had stars in her eyes whenever she was around him. Time had changed them both, but the stars were still there for Crimson. Cruz led the terrible six. It took a lot to keep them constantly in trouble. Crimson was too smart for that. Or I thought she was.

  “He’s the son of my father. Or so my momma says. So be careful Crimson. He’s not the settling down type. I love him, don’t get me wrong, but he’s in it for women period. All women. Every single one.”

  Crimson sighed and growled frustratingly. “Yeah, that’s what my mom says, but your dad settled down for your mother. It is possible. Anything is.”

  “You’re nineteen. Don’t even think about settling down yet.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t think it sounds so bad.”

  Crimson believed the fantasy. The one her parents had as did mine. I wanted that but I wondered if it was possible anymore. Did people still love like they did? Had that become a thing of the past?

  “I want a fairytale,” she said softly.

  I replied “Crimson, we all do” and put my arm around her shoulder. “But Cruz isn’t the one. Keep looking.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

  “What are y’all whispering about?” Saffron asked as she sauntered up to us. Her skirt was so short if she bent over her bottom would show.

  “How long everyone is going to pretend that Larissa and Micah aren’t dating. My guess is by Christmas we will all admit to knowing their secret. Unless Preston figures it out. Then their cover is blown.” I said that to conceal Crimson’s issue from Saffron who couldn’t keep her mouth closed. If she got wind of Crimson liking Cruz then it would be her mission to have him. Although she’d already been there and done that.

  “I thought they were awfully close,” Saffron whispered as her eyes got big. Micah and Larissa would kill me if this got back to them. I’d made that up to get Saffron off the scent of a challenge, any obstacle, because she liked to take guys from other girls. Then she would throw them away.

  The constant chatter of my “family” that surrounded me helped distract me from the conversation I’d had with Nate. Tonight as I lay in bed I would have time to go over it. He wanted to be friends. Friends? My chest hurt every time that word rang in my ears. Of course that was all he could want. He was engaged. And SHE was my boss.

  How was I supposed to be friends with him? I needed to date again. That was my problem. My hurdle. Nate held a special place in my heart because he was my best relationship. The best I had experienced. After him no one had met my expectations. But I’d only been fifteen. We were kids being dreamy and irrational.

  I had to try some more. The few dates I’d been on hadn’t been that great but that didn’t mean they were bad. I needed to test the waters. Take chances with different personalities; anything to wash Nate’s memory from my dreams, both day and night, because our time together plagued me.

  “I’ve got to go in the back and get Cleo off the phone. Quickly, before my dad sees.” Crimson then excused herself to find her sister.

  Saffron saw Holland talking to James Stone and hurried over there to draw attention, knowing she didn’t like James. She just wanted his eyes on her.

  “What’s going on in that head of yours?” my mother asked as she walked over to me, holding out a cup of punch. “I’ve watched you all evening. You’re upset about something. That frown line gives you away.”

  I took the punch from her. I could lie but she would know. Momma knew everything. So, I was honest. “Nate Finlay is engaged to my boss.”

  Mom’s eyes went wide. “The boy from that summer?”

  I nodded. “Yep, the same.”

  “Oh my,” she whispered and her frown matched mine. After all I had inherited it from her.

  “Yeah, ‘oh my’ is right.”

  “How long have you known?” she asked.

  “Since the very first day at work. I didn’t think he remembered me. He pretended not to until this afternoon . . .”

  Mom looked mad and interrupted. “Jerk. Goodness. That’s rude.”

  I had to laugh. Momma was like talking to a friend. She listened and didn’t try to sugar coat it. We’d faced my cancer together. That made your bond stronger and I thought we were closer, as near to one another as could be.

  “He wants to be friends,” I said.

  She released a short laugh, as if that were ridiculous and I had to agree with her. At least she wasn’t telling me to give it a try, because my mom was honest and realistic. I loved that about her.

  “He’s engaged. You can’t be friends. That’s impossible.”

  I nodded.

  “Does Eli know?”

  I wasn’t sure why she asked that. There was no reason for Eli to know. He would just get overprotective and I wasn’t in the mood for that.

  “No. He’ll worry.”

  “He loves you.”

  “I love him.”

  Momma gave a sad smile. “I know.” I could tell by the look on her face she wanted to say more but she didn’t. Instead she took my hand and squeezed it. “One day you’ll know more.”

  That didn’t make sense to me. Momma often said things that didn’t. Like she wanted me to figure life out on my own. I didn’t push for an explanation. Sometimes I did, but this time I didn’t, my gut telling me “you don’t want to know.” Right now I had enough to deal with. Like the fact that I knew being Nate Finlay’s friend was a terrible idea from the start. Yet, I was going to do it. Because if I didn’t, I would always wonder “what if it had just been a friendship? It could’ve been one like Eli’s.” I knew I was lying to myself. But cancer had taught me a lot. And the “what if’s” of this world were something I decided I never wanted to have. I wasn’t about to begin with Nate.

  Nate Finlay

  I WAS LATE coming into work because it had taken me three cups of coffee and about ten pep talks to get me out the damn door. Facing Bliss today wasn’t going to be easy. She hadn’t left me yesterday on a good note. She’d been hurt and angry.

  When I opened the back door and heard the familiar voice of my youngest sister talking I froze. What the hell was Phoenix doing here? She was supposed to be in school. Last time I checked she was still a senior. Graduation wasn’t for two more weeks. Bliss laughed and I stalked toward their voices. I didn’t trust Phoenix not to say a bunch of shit she shouldn’t. The girl was an annoying loud mouth.

  “ . . . and then we had to tell dad. Ophelia didn’t have enough money for bail . . .” Phoenix finished with her cup o
f coffee in hand as she gestured theatrically with her other. Both females began to laugh.

  I’d never seen my sisters laugh with Octavia. She wasn’t much of a laugher herself. She thought my sisters were silly. I had to agree with her. However, seeing Phoenix so at ease with Bliss was nice. Too damn nice to be comfortable.

  “Hate to break up the party but what the hell are you doing here? Why aren’t you in school?”

  Phoenix didn’t even jump at the sound of my voice. “Good to see you to big brother. Hope you’re doing well. Yes, I am wonderful. Ready for finals and oh, of course, I’m registered at Washington State.”

  I rolled my eyes. This was how Phoenix got the subject off her and made you feel guilty in the process. It worked with most of my family. Not me. Never had.

  “I didn’t ask about any of that shit. Why aren’t you in school? Why are you here?”

  She turned her attention back to Bliss. “He’s rude. Always has been.”

  Bliss softly giggled. This morning I arrived ready to convince her to be a friend to me. Why, I wasn’t sure, because it was probably a stupid idea. But I wanted it nonetheless, like asking to be punched again. And after hours of talking myself into acting, I arrive to find my freaking sister here. Screwing it up for me.

  “I need to get back to the window display. I’ll leave you two to visit.” Bliss spoke, then stood, walking away and though I shouldn’t watch her walk, I did because I was a man.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” Phoenix said, snapping my attention back to her.

  “What?”

  She smirked and looked at Bliss’s back then cut her eyes at me.