Leif (Existence) Page 6

  The hate laced in her words was more painful than anything I could have ever imagined. “I didn’t take his soul Pagan, my father did. I had no idea he was going to. Ghede answers to no one within our realm. He makes decisions that please him and he overindulges in anything pleasurable and corrupts enjoyable pursuits, making things that should be good and satisfying into depraved behaviors. Nothing I can say will stop him. I was a child when he asked me to choose a soul. I had no idea what the implications were. I chose you. I didn’t know then what that meant. You can hate me but try to understand I am not my father.”

  Pagan was quiet a moment and I began fixing a plate of food. “Who is your mother?”

  My mother wasn’t someone I really wanted to discuss. Ever. But with Pagan I would share everything. Even the painful things. “My mother is Erzulie, she is the reason my skin is pale and my hair is blond. She’s the Voodoo Goddess of many things. Love being one... vengeance being another. She takes many lovers and enjoys the same things my father does. I see her on occasion but for the most part I live with my father. She has never had any desire for a child but then I’m not her only one. She has several, many of whom walk the earth. She is not above taking human men to her um... bed.”

  Pagan took small bites of the pulled pork I’d brought her and I sighed in relief. She needed to eat. I didn’t like the idea of her starving. Father would make her immortal soon. But for now, she needed nourishment.

  “You don’t talk like your father either. He has a bit of a Cajun accent.”

  Finally, she was curious about me. “I’ve spent the majority of my life following you. I adopted your accent so I would fit in with your life. I didn’t want to appear to you as an outsider.”

  “So all those dreams I’ve had are real? Those things really happened. Are there more memories I’ve forgotten?”

  Those were only small tid-bits of our life together. There was so much I wanted her to remember, “Maybe a few more.” I replied.

  “A few more? That’s all?”

  I didn’t want to hide anything else from her. I’d hid so much already. I set my plate down and stood up. If I was going to tell her this, I needed to be able to pace. It helped me think. Besides, having her perched on my bed made it hard to concentrate on much of anything else. My mind kept going back to the time on her couch, before Dankmar had consumed her heart. I’d never been that close to anyone.

  “I’ve been with you many times in your life. When you were lonely or sad, I was there. When you were in danger, I was there. It was what I did. Father said you were mine and I should protect you. So I did. I’m sorry that you don’t remember. It wasn’t something I did on purpose. It’s just that I am soulless and your soul can’t remember me for long when I’m not near you.”

  “Why did you want me to remember those times? The ones you’d picked out for me to dream about?”

  I stopped and turned to stare directly at her. “Because those were the times I fell a little more in love with you.”

  “You don’t love me, Lief. If you loved me you’d never have been able to hold me against my will.”

  “I’ve told you I can’t control my father. He saved your life. He owns you Pagan.”

  “No one owns me.”

  She didn’t understand. I began to fear she never would. “I don’t want to argue with you. Not tonight. Let’s just eat. Okay?”

  I went back to my plate and we ate in silence. When Pagan set her plate down, I did the same. “Are you full?” I asked standing in order to clean up our meal.

  “Yes,” she mumbled.

  I couldn’t make her forgive me. Tonight, I’d had all of this I could handle. Turning I headed for the door to leave her once again, alone. Just before I reached the door I turned back and tried one more time.

  “What can I do to prove to you that I do love you? Anything except letting you go; because I can’t. I’ll do whatever else you ask of me. I want you to accept this. Us. Just tell me.”

  She stared back at me without saying anything for a few moments. Then finally she replied. “Release Wyatt to a transporter. Don’t keep him here.”

  Could this be the way to win her heart? “If I can convince my father to release Wyatt to a transporter then you will believe I love you and you’ll let this work between us?”

  “Yes, if you hand Wyatt’s soul over to a transporter and I get to see this happen. Once I know it has happened and that his soul is where it belongs then I will stay with you. I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy. To make... us... happy.”

  We could be happy. I’d make this happen. No matter what I had to do, I’d make this happen. “You have a deal. Get some rest Pagan. Tomorrow is a new day and I can’t wait to start eternity with you.”

  12. “I can get you both out of here… alive.”- Leif

  Father wasn’t going to be easy to convince when it came to letting Wyatt’s soul go to Dankmar. He hated the power Dankmar held over him. In Vilokan, Father held the power. However, Dankmar held the power over the souls of creation. But I needed Pagan’s forgiveness. My future had been planned out with her from the time I was a boy. I couldn’t let that go. I didn’t want to watch her hate for me grow each day.

  “Excuse me but I need to find someone and I am completely lost. Do you know Rosella, red hair… and hopefully still alive? I thought maybe that might stand out here, ya know.”

  Stopping I turned to find an attractive petite girl around my age coming from the main entrance. First thing I noticed other than the fact she had really big brown eyes and incredibly long eyelashes was the fact she was wearing clothes. Normal clothes. Her jeans were worn and faded but hugged her thin hips nicely. The black tee shirt she was wearing had “Don’t make me go Cajun on your ass,” written across it in white block letters. Nothing about this girl looked Cajun. Her pale skin and coppery colored hair screamed Irish.

  “Hey, are you like alive too? Because you look like it but then it’s hard to tell here,” she asked. I lifted my eyes from her shirt and met her gaze. The pink in her cheeks and beat of her heart told me she was in fact a human. What was my father thinking? Was he collecting a whole horde of humans? Then the thought of why he would have collected another human washed over me. Oh, fuck no. She was my age!

  “Who are you and how did you get here?” I asked studying her for any sign of a lie.

  Her posture straightened and the openly curious expression she’d been aiming at me darkened. Great, I’d pissed off yet another female. “I’m Sabine Monroe. I’m looking for my sister. Rosella Monroe. She’s older than me. Same hair,” she paused and pressed her lips together firmly. Something was upsetting her and I was positive it wasn’t my rude behavior. “Hopefully, still alive.”

  “You’re alive,” I stated.

  Sabine nodded slowly like maybe she needed to find someone else with a little more sense.

  “How did you get here? This is the Voodoo afterlife. It isn’t normal to see a living breathing human walking the halls. Typically it’s the souls of those who served Ghede who enter Vilokan.”

  Sabine put her hands on her hips and sighed. I noticed her nails were neatly filed and each white tip had a black Fleur De Lis on the end. “I’m aware of where I am. Obviously the living and breathing can enter the walls of Vilokan if they know what they’re doing. Trust me, I don’t want to be here. I just need someone to tell me where I can find my sister so that I can take her home. Back to the surface where we can continue living and breathing and staying the hell away from my Mame’s Voodoo crap.”

  “Okay, wait. Your sister is here and you are looking for her. Both of you are alive? You’re not a Voodoo queen heir or a witch but you are here. Where only those Ghede allows to enter may walk.”

  A small shiver ran over her and she shook her head, “No, I’m none of those things. My Mame` however needs a good lesson in messing with the Voodoo junk she buys from the shop on Bourbon. I’ve told her that mess wasn’t something to screw around with. But no one listens to the
eighteen year old. So, here I am.”

  The red headed female who I’d seen with my father months ago. Surely that wasn’t who this girl was after. But who else? The red hair was similar. Maybe. I hadn’t paid enough attention to the girl with Father. I’d been worried about Dankmar taking Pagan from me. This girl did not need to meet my father. His taste in females could be disturbing. The idea of him using this girl sickened me. She was too young, too innocent, too… beautiful. Not to mention, I needed to get Father to agree to letting Wyatt’s soul go back to Dankmar.

  “Listen, I have some stuff I have to deal with tonight. I can find your sister. But you’re in a dangerous place. Ghede, he is the—”

  “Voodoo lord of the dead. Yeah, I know. My Mame` explained all that before she sent me to the old voodoo witch who in return sent me here.”

  “Right. Okay, well he isn’t exactly a nice understanding guy. If you could give me a day to work some things out and let me find your sister, I’ll bring her to you then I’ll get you both out of here.”

  Sabine cocked one eyebrow, “Yeah, you? And how will you do that? With your good looks because God knows you aren’t a Voodoo spirit. You look as human as I do.”

  I had to bite back a laugh, which was surprising. I hadn’t been much in the mood for laughter earlier. “Listen, Sabine. I can promise you I’ve got connections. Just please do as I say and wait on me. I’m the only one who has a chance at getting you both out of here… alive.”

  13. “Let her go.” - Leif

  I knocked once then opened the door, “It’s time,” I announced as I made my way into the bedroom. Pagan had been given a chance to say her goodbyes to Wyatt. A transporter had been alerted of Wyatt’s return. Everything was set in place. Soon, I’d have the eternity I’d always imagined with Pagan.

  She pulled on the short length of the black dress Father had supplied for her to wear. It was his way of showing Dankmar just who Pagan belonged to now. I knew she hated the flimsiness of the dress but I’d managed to get Father to agree to so much already I wasn’t about to argue with him on this one.

  “Let’s do this,” she replied making her way to the door. Thankful that she wasn’t going to put up a fight I held out my warm to escort her but she backed away and shook her head, “No, it’s not over yet. You get Wyatt safely in a transporter’s hands and out of this place, then I’ll hold up my end of the deal.”

  She was stubborn but I wasn’t going to argue. Instead, I nodded my head.

  “You lead the way,” she said once we were in the hallway.

  “You know that Dankmar will probably be here, Pagan.”

  “I figure he would be.”

  “You understand the implications if you go to him.”

  “Yes Leif, I know you’ll kill off everyone I love and suck their souls down here to live in fornication for all eternity. Got it.”

  I loved her so fiercely but she could make me so angry. “Pagan, this isn’t about me. I’ve told you this is my father. It’s how he operates. I can’t control him. You have no idea how much cajoling I had to do in order for him to give Wyatt’s soul back. And to be honest the only reason I think he agreed is because he sees entertainment value in you refusing to go to Dankmar and that he will be the one controlling you.”

  I noticed the door across the hall. It opened slightly and two large brown eyes peered out. The wide-eyed expression on Sabine’s face told me she had heard quite a bit of the argument Pagan and I were having. I had to focus on my problem at hand. I’d deal with Sabine and her sister later.

  “Now please understand, no pain you have suffered is because I wanted it. I never wanted you to hurt. I always thought you’d want me. That your soul would want me. Hell when I get anywhere near you your eyes look like they’ve caught on fire. You’re supposed to want me. But you don’t. Instead you want him. And you can’t have him, Pagan. It was never meant to be.”

  “Okay,” was her simple reply.

  “Okay?”

  “You heard me, Leif. I said okay. Now let’s go.”

  Well, that was easier than I’d expected. With one last glance in Sabine’s nosy direction I turned and made my way to the front entrance.

  “Stop it,” I growled at one of the Voodoo spirits as they gawked at Pagan’s body in the dress Father had made her wear.

  “May, dat is sumtin to see is it not,” Father called out as he walked into the large foyer.

  “Don’t make her uncomfortable, Father,” I pleaded.

  “Who me?” he asked in an amused voice. I watched as he lifted his hand and placed two cigarettes in his mouth and then turned his attention to the activities going on outside.

  I searched the onlookers for any sight of Sabine’s sister. If I could find her now then once this was over I could help Sabine and her sister escape. Then, it would be time to enjoy my forever with Pagan. That is— if we all survived Death’s fury.

  “Please make them stop,” Pagan whispered desperately. Confused I looked down at her then followed her gaze to see two of Father’s harem running their fingers over Wyatt’s crotch. Most teenage guys would enjoy that but I could see that Wyatt was uncomfortable and Pagan was very upset over it. But Wyatt had figured out complaining would only encourage Father.

  “If I make a scene Father will then make it much worse. If you don’t want to see one of those two mount Wyatt right here then don’t say a word. Wyatt knows this. That’s why he’s so still.”

  Silence fell over the wild streets and people began fleeing. All the laughter and drinking ended as souls felt the presence of Death closing in on them.

  “Ah, Death draws near. The fallen ‘ave run to hide,” Father drawled and pulled the two cigarettes from his mouth to exhale small rings of smoke before placing them right back in.

  “What does he mean?” Pagan asked.

  “Dank is close. The souls of the people in the streets felt him and ran. Unlike you, most humans don’t cling to Death when he’s in his true form. Sure, they like the singer Dank Walker but when he’s truly in Death’s form, they hide.”

  Father turned to Wyatt and crooked his finger once. The girls holding onto him released their claim on him as he stepped forward.

  Gasps turned my attention to the streets in front of me. Dankmar had come and he hadn’t come alone. Death’s eyes searched until they found Pagan, who I had cuddled up against my side. She was mine.

  “Well, well, well, Dankmar and pals. To wat do we owe dis honor?” Father asked in his usual jolly tone.

  “You know why I’m here, Ghede,” Dankmar replied not taking his eyes off of Pagan. The possessive gleam in his eyes made my skin crawl in fear. Would I be able to stand up to him? Would Father expect me to handle Dankmar all on my own?

  “Tsk tsk tsk, I don know whut you mean. You said to let her choose,” Father announced waving his hand in our direction. “She did.”

  The blonde transporter started toward us when Dankmar stopped her. Did he not plan on taking her? Would it really be this easy?

  “No. You forced her choice. That wasn’t part of the deal,” Dankmar roared. Pagan shivered in my arms and stepped back away from me.

  “Here’s the soul you came for,” Father pushed Wyatt toward Death and instantly Wyatt was in the protection of a transporters arms. Then he was gone. Pagan had gotten her wish, her one demand. It had been fulfilled. Now, Death needed to leave.

  “Now is dat all you want or would you lak to axe her yorself?” Father turned toward us, “Come here Pagan,” he coaxed.

  She was terrified of Father. I gently squeezed her arm in reassurance then nudged her forward. She had to go to him. If she refused him everything could get ugly.