When You're Back Page 8

  Yes, he saved me. He loved me. But that wasn’t this man’s business. Nothing in my life was this man’s business. “He changed my world.”

  Captain let out a sigh that caught my attention, and I turned to look at him. He stood up, and I hoped that meant he was leaving. I had work to do. He was messing with that. “I can change your world, too, sweetheart. But I’ll wait my turn,” he said, then walked out the door without another word.

  I stared at the closed door with mixed feelings of disbelief, confusion, and anger. Who did he think he was? And why was he interested in me? It wasn’t like he couldn’t walk into a room and crook his finger at any girl he wanted. He needed to find someone who was actually available.

  Mase

  The smile that lit Reese’s face when I opened her office door made all the pain of missing her and worrying about her fade away. To see her smile like that, sitting behind such a nice desk, made it all worth it. She was happy.

  “I did it. I did everything on my list,” she said, with pride in her voice.

  I walked over to her as she stood up and reached for her purse.

  Pulling her into my arms, I held her close and inhaled her scent before covering her mouth with mine. I needed a taste before we went back to my truck for the ride home. Her hands came up and clung to my arms. I loved it when she did that. Like she needed to hold on to me.

  When I had enough to get me home, I pressed one last kiss to her lips and moved my head back so that I could take her in. “I’m so proud of you.”

  She beamed at me. “I’m proud of me, too.”

  That. That was all I needed. Anything she wanted to do, I’d make it happen if I could hear those words from her mouth. She had a lot to be proud of. I never wanted her to doubt herself again.

  “Ready to go home?” I asked.

  She slipped her purse over her shoulder. “Yes.”

  I put my hand on her lower back, and we walked out the door. She turned and locked it with her new set of keys, then glanced up at me. “Piper left early. She said she’d see me tomorrow, so I don’t have to let her know I’m gone.”

  Good. The sooner I got her home, the better.

  On the ride home, she talked about her day and all the e-mails and phone calls she’d gotten. She sounded excited, like she had enjoyed every minute of it. I let her happiness push away my own feelings about the day I’d had out of my mind. Aida had stayed gone all day. Momma said I just needed to give her some space to deal. She said it was time Aida got over this crush she had on me. Major bringing it up was the best thing that could have happened to her. She had to get over it now and move on.

  That didn’t make it easier, and I was concerned about where Aida had run off to. She was young and so naive and silly about things. The fact that she had a crush on me proved that even more. I didn’t want her going out and getting hurt because of this. I’d blame myself.

  When we pulled into the driveway, Aida’s truck was sitting there. Looked like I was going to face this sooner rather than later, and I didn’t want Reese hearing any of it. Aida was sitting in the driver’s seat with her head on the steering wheel like she was crying. Great.

  I parked the truck and looked over at Reese, who was staring at Aida. I never wanted Reese to know that Aida had a thing for me. That was something I had to shut down now so we could get on with things. Reese’s emotions weren’t going to be messed with here. I had to protect her first.

  “I need to talk to her. She’s going through something right now, and I’m the only one who can help her move on,” I explained. I wanted to go inside and eat dinner with Reese, then enjoy a long shower together before we curled up and she read to me. But that wasn’t happening tonight. I had to put this behind us.

  She nodded. “OK. I’ll go fix us some dinner.”

  The tone in her voice sounded off, but I was probably imagining things, since I was already worried about this shit with Aida. I leaned over and kissed her before getting out of the truck.

  Reese climbed down before I could get to her. “Go do what you need to,” she said, and she walked up the stairs without looking back at me.

  That wasn’t like Reese. Maybe she was just tired and ready to go inside. I wanted to go with her. Shit, this was all kinds of fucked-up.

  I walked over to the driver’s-side door of Aida’s truck and opened it. “Move over, I’m driving,” I said when she lifted her tear-streaked face to look at me.

  She didn’t question me. Once she was on the other side, I climbed in. “Put on your seat belt,” I told her when she didn’t reach for it.

  Once she was buckled, I pulled out of the driveway and drove to the main road. We needed to talk, but I was going to drive while we did it. I needed something to do other than look at her and face this shit.

  “Talk, Aida. Stop crying, and talk to me.”

  She sniffled, and I watched her wipe at her face. “What do you want me to say? Major said it all.”

  Well, that clarified that. “What the hell, Aida? Seriously? How did this happen?”

  She let out a shaky sigh. “You were . . . are my everything, Mase. You always have been. You’re there when I need someone. We have fun together. We laugh. We fit. I just don’t know why you can’t see that. She . . . she doesn’t fit you. I do. I know you so much better than she does.”

  Motherfucker. How had I missed this? I felt so blindsided. “You’re my cousin. Hell, Aida, I saw you a couple times a year growing up. It wasn’t like we were inseparable. The way you talk about us sounds like we did everything together. I don’t see how you cooked all this up in your head. I’ve never once given you reason to think we have something or even had something. We hardly see each other.”

  Aida sighed. “You don’t see it. We’ve always had a connection. I could feel it. I know you did, too. Reese messed this all up. You think you love her. You just don’t remember what we’ve had together.”

  Yes, I loved Reese. I loved Reese like a man insane. She was my world. That wasn’t ever changing. “Aida, Reese is everything I never knew I needed but I can’t live without. Telling yourself that there is, or was, something between us is pointless. You’ve always been jealous of others getting my attention. I knew that. But we were kids, and you were demanding. I overlooked it or ignored it. But this can’t be ignored. Reese is the most important person in my life.”

  Aida let out another sob. “Why can’t that be me? What does she have that I don’t have? How can I be her? How do I win your love?”

  Holy hell. “You can’t. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t be like her and win my love. Reese is my one. You will find a guy one day who will be that for you, and no one will ever compare.”

  “I don’t want anyone else. I never have,” she said in a sad voice.

  “I’m trying to be understanding here, but you’re making it hard. I don’t get it. This isn’t healthy, Aida. You’ve got to see that.”

  She began crying softly again, and I just drove. She had to see the truth here and deal with it. The lights of Fort Worth appeared in the distance. I hoped a coffee shop was open, because I needed something to get me through this.

  “What if she isn’t your forever? What if one day she leaves? Or you fall out of love with her? You don’t know the future. No one does. People break up, and they even get divorced. What about when you don’t love her anymore?”

  None of that was happening, and hearing her even mention it pissed me off. “Not me. That isn’t me. I don’t give up. I’d never give up on her.”

  Aida laid her head back on the seat and let out a frustrated groan. “You’re so stubborn.”

  I almost laughed. She was calling me stubborn. Seriously? “This has got to end, Aida. I’m not kidding. Reese is mine. She’s my happiness. My reason for waking up in the morning. She is every smile on my face. That’s it. Nothing will change that.”

  Aida closed her eyes as I pulled into a Starbucks drive-through. A beer would be better, but I had to drive, so a black coffee was
going to have to suffice. “You want anything?” I asked her.

  “No,” she said sulkily.

  I ordered mine, and we sat there in silence. Once I had my drink I turned back toward the ranch.

  “She’ll leave you one day, and I’ll be gone. You’ll regret this. I swear you will,” Aida said, looking out the window.

  The only thing I would regret was that I had missed all the signs and let it get this far gone. Aida needed to go home. Her visit was over. I hoped it would be years before her next one.

  When I finally got home after dropping Aida back at my parents’ house, I’d been gone for more than two hours. Aida had wanted to talk more, and I had listened, but I didn’t feel like I had made any progress with her. She was still warning me that I was messing up. I was beginning to think my cousin was mentally unbalanced.

  As I opened the door, the smell of garlic and butter met my nose. Walking into the kitchen, I could see spaghetti simmering in a pot of boiling water on the stove. Toasted French bread rubbed with garlic and butter sat beside it.

  But Reese wasn’t there.

  I headed for the bedroom, and just as I reached the door, I heard her voice. I stopped and realized she was reading. Alone. Without me.

  She had worked her first day at a new job, and I’d left her here. Instead of pouting like most women would, she had cooked dinner and was now going on with her night. My gut knotted up. I felt like an ass. I should have been here with her. I should have cooked for her. And I should be there holding her while she read. That was our thing.

  Opening the door, I stepped into the room, my eyes instantly finding her. She was curled up in our bed, with her hair in low pigtails and dressed in a tank top and pajama pants. She stopped reading and looked up at me.

  Then she smiled.

  That smile was all that I needed in life. That and having her right there in my bed. Nothing was as perfect as this.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, needing to say it. My guilt and regret over leaving her was eating at me.

  She shrugged. “It’s OK. She needed you.”

  But so did Reese. I never wanted to choose someone else’s needs over Reese’s. “I should have been here with you. I should have cooked you dinner and listened to you talk about your day. And I should be in that bed listening to you read to me.”

  Reese put her book down in her lap. “I would have liked that.”

  Those honest words sliced through me. That ride with Aida did nothing but let me say how I felt. I’d wasted my time. And I’d let Reese down.

  “I have to get up early. I’d like to stay up with you while you eat and shower, but Piper needs me at the office at eight tomorrow morning. She signed on for some earlier lessons, so I need some sleep.”

  Although she said everything with a smile, there was a sadness in her eyes that made me feel helpless. Then she lay down and rolled over, ending our conversation.

  I had screwed up.

  Reese

  When my alarm went off at six thirty, I rolled over and stretched. Last night’s events, and the sadness I’d gone to bed with, came back to me. Mase had gone to Aida and stayed gone for hours. I had waited to eat with him for more than an hour, until I was too hungry to wait. Once I’d eaten and cleaned up, I took a shower, and he still wasn’t home.

  By the time I’d gotten my book and started reading, I realized this was a pattern. When Aida needed him, he went to her. It concerned me. She wasn’t his blood relative, but he had never told me that. Someone else had.

  I shook my head, threw back the covers, and got out of bed. I had to focus on work today. Not Mase. Not Aida. That was a situation I needed to find my way through. I hoped going to sleep on him when he got home last night sent the right message. He had upset me. I wanted him to know that. I didn’t want to take a backseat to his cousin forever.

  He was my first concern. Shouldn’t I be his?

  I went to brush my teeth and get dressed. Today was about proving my worth at my job, not sulking because Mase had let me down last night.

  When I stepped out of the bedroom, my eyes fell on Mase standing at the stove. His back was to me, but he was definitely cooking. I walked toward the kitchen through the living room, hoping to see what he was doing.

  Mase turned just as I got into the kitchen and gave me that smile that made my heart flutter. “Morning, beautiful. Breakfast is almost done.”

  Breakfast? We normally ate cereal or something his mom, Maryann, brought us. And wasn’t Mase supposed to be down at the stables working?

  “Have a seat, and I’ll get your orange juice,” he said, wiping his hands on the dishtowel stuck in the front of his jeans.

  I didn’t move. I was still trying to figure out what was going on.

  He paused when he saw me still standing there. “You good?” he asked, looking concerned.

  I managed a nod and moved to the table while he poured me a glass of orange juice.

  “Coffee is brewing. I’ll get you some in a few.”

  “What are you doing?” I blurted out.

  He slid what looked like an omelet from a pan to a plate, then turned to me and held it up. “Fixing you breakfast. I didn’t get to make you dinner after your first day of work. So I thought I’d fix you breakfast before your second day. Not the same, but I didn’t sleep much last night. I watched you sleep and beat myself up over letting you down.” He walked over to me with a serious expression on his face. When he set the plate down in front of me, he bent over and looked into my eyes. “I never want to be the one to let you down, and I did that last night. I won’t do it again. You’re the most important part of my life.”

  My heart went into a silly beat of giddiness. I had been upset with him, but this made all that melt away. This was Mase. The man I trusted and loved. I returned his smile. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  He leaned in and kissed me sweetly. “Don’t thank me. I don’t deserve it,” he said against my mouth. “Be mad at me. Throw things at me. Hell, baby, slap me. But don’t thank me. That kills me.”

  I reached up and cupped his face. I adored that face. “How about I love you, then?” I said with a smile.

  He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. “That always sounds good.”

  I moved my hand and looked down at the plate in front of me. The omelet he’d made looked delicious and full of cheese, but it was also big enough for three people. “Go get another plate and eat with me. This is massive.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

  During our breakfast, I told him everything I had wanted to tell him last night. He told me about his day, although I felt like he was leaving something out. It was in his eyes. And he never told me what Aida had come over for.

  That bothered me.

  The morning had gone by quickly. Piper was busy with one lesson after another, and I had to go out and help her do some cleaning and brush down the horses. She’d explained how to do it and showed me once yesterday, and I had picked it up quickly. I was feeling very accomplished by the time lunchtime rolled around.

  I hadn’t packed a big lunch today, and I was starving. My turkey sandwich and apple would not be enough. I wanted a big, thick hamburger and a large order of fries. Not that my butt needed it, but I sure wanted it. Maybe even some chocolate chip cookies. I would have to use my imagination and eat the sandwich I’d brought and pretend it was something yummier.

  “You have something to eat?” Piper asked, sticking her head through the doorway.

  Not what I wanted. “Yes,” I replied.

  “Good. Take your lunch break. I’m headed up to the house to meet Arthur for lunch. See you later this afternoon.”

  I nodded, and she closed the door behind her. Sighing, I pulled out my paper bag and set it on my desk. Tomorrow I would prepare a huge lunch. Something delicious. Something wonderful.

  The door opened again, and I looked up, expecting to see Piper again, but it wasn’t my boss. It was someone else. Someone I did not want to see.
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  “Piper just left for lunch,” I said, sounding more annoyed than necessary.

  Captain grinned, and I noticed his dimple again. Were guys supposed to have dimples like that? It was a deep one.

  “Brought lunch,” he said, holding up a large paper bag. Much bigger than mine.

  “I didn’t ask for lunch,” I snapped.

  My attitude didn’t deter him. He walked into the office and closed the door behind him. “No, you didn’t, but I was getting mine, and I thought what the hell. Do something nice for someone today, Captain.” He set the bag on my desk. The smell of something mouthwatering hit my nose. Much better than my sandwich. “So when I ordered the best damn burger in Texas, I decided to get two and bring one to you. Day two on the job, figured you needed a treat.”

  He had brought me a burger. Was he kidding me? Did this man read minds?

  When he placed the large box in front of me, I was pretty sure I was drooling. It smelled amazing. He was just being nice. Who was I to turn down a lunch that I had just been dreaming about?

  “I was expecting more snarky comments. Possibly a threat to throw the damn burger right in my face. That kind of thing,” Captain said, sounding smug.

  I should have done all those things, but I wanted the food. The idea of eating my turkey sandwich now was just sad.

  “To sweeten the deal, I got you a slice of strawberry cake,” he added. Not chocolate chip cookies, but that was a good substitute. He opened my box as if I couldn’t do it.

  “You win. I’m starving.”

  He laughed then. A real laugh. Not one that was all-knowing or assholish. I liked his laugh. It wasn’t bad. Not nearly as annoying as he was in general.

  “Well, thank you. This means my good deed for the day is complete and I can go about my business being a bastard.”

  This time, I laughed.

  When he pulled up a chair and started opening up his food, I realized he was staying. I wasn’t sure about that. It seemed a little too familiar. We weren’t friends. We weren’t anything.