About Tomorrow... Read online

  “I thought Fleur was full of shit but damn if you don’t look good, Sailor Copeland,” Derek Young said, looking older but still handsome.

  “Hello, Derek,” I said smiling up at him. “It’s good to see you.”

  “Creed’s already taking you out I see. Didn’t take him long,” Derek replied.

  I paused not sure how to respond to that.

  “No it doesn’t,” Creed replied, and I spun around to see him walking across my yard heading our way.

  Derek chuckled. “Like old times. Almost,” he said and shook his head.

  I felt like I should clarify that it was not like old times. Creed wasn’t the love of my life and I had a boyfriend. I wasn’t sure how to phrase that exactly and I didn’t have to because Derek nodded his head at me. “See you around, Sailor.” Then he rolled up his window and pulled back onto the road.

  I turned back to Creed who was now standing beside me. “He thinks we’re dating,” I told him.

  Creed shrugged. “Good.”

  `I frowned at him. “Good?”

  He gave me a crooked grin. “Old habits die hard.”

  I wanted to be mad at him, but instead, I laughed. Today had been a crummy one so far and seeing Creed made it better. I wouldn’t dig too deeply into that.

  “Want to come see the place? I’ve had some remodeling done. Just started moving in today,” he told me, nodding toward the house next door. His house. The Sullivan house. The last place I saw Cora alive. I wasn’t sure I could go inside that house.

  “Okay,” I said instead. He was moving into that house again. He had good memories there and I understood that. I had good memories there too. Most of them had Cora in them. I wasn’t sure I was prepared to face that after all this time. However, I wasn’t going to tell him that. It seemed too difficult to express. We weren’t close anymore. I didn’t feel safe sharing my feelings to him as I once had. Especially when it was about Cora.

  Creed began walking back toward his yard and I fell into step behind him. He didn’t say much. I expected him to start talking about what he’d done or some kind of small talk. His mood had changed it seemed. I never knew which Creed I was going to get. It was unsettling.

  When we reached the door to the house, he opened it and then motioned for me to go inside. I paused, wondering how this would affect me. Did he have a hard time walking back in after all these years? If Creed could live here, then I could walk inside I told myself and forced my feet to move forward. Still he said nothing.

  It smelled the same. Gran’s had smelled the same too, but then there had been no remodeling when I moved into her house. This house truly looked much different. The downstairs was brighter and more open. Less walls and closed-off rooms. The wall color was a simple white and the light fixtures were new and not the antique ones that had once been on the wall. The wooden floors had been worked on too, although I could tell they were still the original floors of the house. They didn’t make them like this anymore.

  Even with all the paint, sheetrock, polished floors, the house still smelled the same. Memories flooded me and I held them back the best I could. It was as if at any moment Cora would walk down the stairs smiling. I wondered if he’d changed anything on the next two floors.

  “All I’ve done upstairs is repaint and have the floors refinished,” he said when he saw my eyes go to the stairs.

  “It’s breathtaking,” I told him honestly. I’d always loved this house. He’d just made it look like a different one downstairs. It had been traditional New England before, but even with its fresh new look, it was still a beautiful place. I didn’t ask him why he changed things because I would have changed them too. Just so being here didn’t feel like it had…before. Changing it would help with the memories or at least I hoped it did.

  “Mom hates it. She said I messed up the history but,” he paused. “I needed to.”

  “I understand,” I said simply. Because I did. There was a lot I didn’t understand about Creed Sullivan and I doubted I ever would. It was too late to try. But I understood his need for this place not to feel the same.

  “I know,” he replied.

  I turned to look up at him and his gaze was already on me. We stood there like that for longer than necessary, but I couldn’t look away. Words that had never been said hung there in the silence and I knew now I didn’t need to know. I had desperately wanted him to talk to me six years ago and the idea of that happening now…terrified me.

  fourteen

  June 3, 2013

  Portsmouth, New Hampshire

  This wasn’t how summer was supposed to be. Everything was different this year. I sat on Gran’s back porch alone. Gran had gone to get groceries and I was too busy sulking to go with her. She’d promised me a cupcake from the bakery if I went as if I were a child. I wish a cupcake was all it took to make me feel better.

  Cora had cheer camp this week and she’d be home next week. We would have the rest of the summer together and she’d texted me several times since she left. I was happy she made the team. That wasn’t my problem, although it did make me sad that one of our weeks together this summer was gone.

  I glanced over at the backyard of their house that I could barely see through all the trees and hydrangeas. Not that it mattered. No one was there. Creed had a girlfriend now. Fleur freaking Young. I didn’t know her, but I knew she had Creed. He was barely around. With Cora gone and Creed with Fleur, I was without a Sullivan friend. This summer was turning out awful.

  Footsteps on the gravel driveway caught my attention. I didn’t see anyone yet and I wondered if I should go inside and lock the door. I was here alone and I wasn’t expecting anyone. Before I could make a move, Creed appeared around the corner.

  I stared at him.

  “Hey,” he said with the crooked smile I loved and wished I didn’t. Before this summer, Creed had always been…well, mine. We hadn’t been boyfriend and girlfriend or anything like that but he’d always been there. He was my Creed or he had been my Creed. Now he was Fleur Young’s Creed. The thought soured my attitude more.

  “Hi,” I replied and turned my gaze away from him and back to the yard. I didn’t say anything more and I didn’t look at him, but I could see him from my peripheral vision and I knew he was coming closer. If Fleur Young came around that corner next I was going inside. No, I was sprinting inside.

  “Want to go get an ice cream?” he asked when he reached the stairs I was sitting on.

  I wasn’t a kid. Did everyone around here still see me as a child? Gran trying to buy me a cupcake and now Creed offering ice cream. I bet he didn’t take Fleur for ice cream. She probably got taken to the coffee house.

  “No thanks,” I replied, still not looking at him.

  He sat down beside me on the steps and I wished he would just go. I didn’t want to deal with him. He was the main reason I was in this terrible mood and having the worst summer ever.

  “You’re mad at me,” he said.

  Yes, I was mad at him, but I wasn’t telling him that because then I would have to tell him the truth. I had some pride. I would not tell Creed Sullivan that I was almost positive that I was in love with him. He didn’t need to know I counted down the days every year until I got to see him again. Even worse that when Chase had asked me to the homecoming dance, I had told him yes but just as friends because I had a boyfriend in New Hampshire. Which was a complete lie but I hadn’t wanted Chase to think I was available to date. I didn’t want to date anyone but Creed Sullivan.

  “Tell me why you’re avoiding me,” Creed pleaded. I didn’t want to be mad at him or avoid him. I just didn’t know how to be around him and Fleur when I was sure I loved him.

  “I’m not,” I said, forcing a smile and flashing it at him. When I started to turn away from him again, he caught my chin with his fingers.

  “I know you, Sailor Copeland, and you are avoiding
me,” he said, making me look into his eyes that were unfair to unleash on any female.

  A lump formed in my throat and if I cried on him, I would have to leave Portsmouth. I could never face him again after that. I could not cry. I had to be cool. Like Fleur was cool. The thought of her made me want to roll my eyes, but I didn’t.

  “You’ve been busy,” I said, and the thickness in my throat made my voice sound weird.

  He raised an eyebrow. “When have I ever been too busy for you?” he asked me.

  Now that he had a girlfriend. That’s when. Jeez was he going to force me to spell this out for him? Because I didn’t want to do that. Humiliation was not a strong enough word. I shrugged instead.

  He tilted his head to the side and studied me. “Is this about Fleur?”

  Ding, ding, ding! I remained still and silent. His fingers stayed on my chin and I couldn’t look away unless I jerked my head and that was too dramatic.

  “It is,” he said then his hand left my face.

  I felt instant sadness at his letting me go. Was the revelation that I was jealous of Fleur going to send him away now? Would this be the last time we talked all summer? Would my sulking lead to our friendship ending? I didn’t want that but how did I stop it?

  Creed rested his hand on his knee with his palm side up. I stared at it then back at him. He gave me a crooked grin and boy had I missed that grin. “I broke up with Fleur. She was taking up all my time and the truth was I just wanted to be with you.”

  “Oh,” I replied in a whisper.

  He nodded toward his hand. “You going to make me beg or are you going to give me your hand?”

  “Oh,” I replied again, still reeling at the news he wanted to be with me. He missed me too. I slowly slid my hand over his and his fingers laced through mine, before closing over my hand.

  “Now, I really want a freaking ice cream. Would you come with me? Because I’m not letting go of your hand or you.”

  A giggle came from me before I could stop it. When had I become so silly and giddy from Creed’s attention? “Okay,” I said.

  He stood up and I went with him, our hands still clasp. “You know I was only dating Fleur because you were dating that tall football player guy.”

  I paused confused. “What?”

  He didn’t look at me then but said, “Facebook. I saw your picture at the dance with him. Everyone commenting about you two being a cute couple.”

  “Chase?” I asked, realizing he’d seen that picture and assumed the wrong thing. I hadn’t thought about Facebook. Someone else had posted that picture on my wall, not me.

  He shrugged. “I don’t know his name.”

  “Chase was not my boyfriend and we were not dating. We just went to the dance together.”

  He didn’t look convinced. “People called you two a couple.”

  I shrugged this time. “They wanted us to be…I think Chase wanted us to be. I made it clear to him it was just as friends.”

  “You didn’t like him?”

  I didn’t reply right away. I could say I didn’t like Chase that way and leave it at that or I could be honest with Creed. He had been honest with me. This summer was different. We weren’t kids anymore. I only had a couple of months with him.

  “Chase is a friend. He’s nice, but he isn’t who I like. I told him there was someone else…in New Hampshire.”

  Creed looked down at me then and I could see the pleased look in his eyes. “Really?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  His lips broke into a full grin. “It’s about damn time.”

  “What is?” I asked him, returning his smile.

  “Us, Sailor. It’s time for us. I’ve been waiting for what feels like forever.”

  fifteen

  November 12, 2019

  Portsmouth, New Hampshire

  When I pulled into my driveway around seven that night, it was nice to see the house next door lit up again. It had been dark at night since my arrival until two nights ago. Although I hadn’t seen Creed since Saturday, when he gave me a tour of the house, I saw his lights. He was home and that made me feel warm inside. It was strange I know but it did. I liked knowing he was there.

  I wondered if he was hungry and considered making a big pot of chili and calling to invite him over. Other than Albert at work, I hadn’t talked to anyone in days and I was lonely. Albert couldn’t be considered a conversationalist. Griff had texted twice to tell me he was busy and would call soon. He still hadn’t called.

  After parking the car, I walked toward Creed’s house, deciding I’d invite him over for dinner if he hadn’t already eaten. It was a neighborly and friendly thing to do. I didn’t get very far though when I saw a brunette with long brown hair standing in the kitchen with a glass of wine in her hand laughing at something.

  He had company and I was doubting he was hungry for food. Turning back around, I headed for my house and another night alone. I was getting good at dinner, the Hallmark Channel, and wine in the evenings. It wasn’t a bad thing. Soon we’d have snow and I could have holiday parties by myself.

  Sighing, I unlocked my door and went inside the cold house. Doing my regular routine, I hurried and got the fireplace going then moved to the wooden stove in the kitchen. I kept my coat on until things warmed up, but I found my furry slippers and took off my heels and put them on instead. Maybe I would get a puppy…no, those could be a lot of trouble and needed attention. I had work. Oh! I could get a cat. They liked being left alone for the most part.

  Pouring myself a glass of wine, I went to the living room to turn on my trusty companion, the television, and then stood in front of the fire. I was almost warm enough to take off my coat when there was a knock on the door. I sat my empty wine glass on the coffee table and went to the door.

  Creed was standing outside, holding a large pot with oven mittens on his hands. Was he bringing me dinner? “Hey,” I said stepping back so he could come inside.

  I glanced behind him, hoping the brunette wasn’t about to follow him. I didn’t see her. “Are you bringing me your left overs?” I asked.

  “No, I’m bringing dinner over here to eat.”

  I looked outside again to make sure the other woman wasn’t out there then closed the door before any more warmth escaped.

  “Since you just got home, I figured you wouldn’t have eaten yet,” he said as he sat the pot on my stove.

  I walked into the kitchen behind him. “Uh, no, I haven’t eaten yet,” I replied. “I was about to make some chili but I never made it that far. I’ve been warming up.”

  He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest casually. “Good. How’s your week going?”

  He was staying? I looked out the kitchen window toward his house. “I uh, thought you had company?” I said, wondering why he was here with me holding a pot of something in his hands.

  His eyebrows drew together in a slight frown then he smiled. “Are you talking about Rachel?” he asked.

  I had no idea who I was talking about. I didn’t know the woman I had seen through his window but then Creed had a lot of women it would seem. “I guess if that’s the woman at your house.”

  He shook his head. “Rachel isn’t company. She’s family. Our mothers are first cousins and she’s lived most of her life in London with her father. She just left her fiancé at the altar this weekend and fled to the states. I got a call yesterday from her, asking if I’d pick her up at the Boston airport. Somehow from that I got stuck with her hiding out at my house for now.”

  A female that he wasn’t dating. I wasn’t expecting that. “So you don’t want her to stay?” I asked him, getting the feeling his coming over here made more sense now. He was getting away from his cousin.

  “I like Rachel, in small doses. She’s loud and bossy. She talks a lot about herself. I needed some peace. I brought d
inner with me, hoping you’d let me stay,” he said with a hopefulness in his tone that made me laugh.

  “Sure. Who am I to turn away a warm meal. I’m exhausted from work and cooking didn’t sound appealing.”

  He let out a dramatic sigh of relief and I laughed some more. Creed was grinning at me then he winked before turning back around to his pot of mystery meal. I was happy he was here. Not being alone was much better than my previous few nights.

  “What are we eating?” I asked him as I took out another wine glass from the cabinet.

  “Clam chowder,” he replied.

  “You can make clam chowder?” I asked impressed and unaware his culinary skills were so good.

  He glanced over his shoulder at me. “No. But I can order takeout.”

  That made me laugh and he smiled again. I loved that smile. Wait. No. I didn’t need to love anything about Creed Sullivan. That was wrong. Wasn’t it? I shouldn’t be loving something about another man unless he was related to me.

  “Where’s the bowls?” he asked, opening a cabinet that held my Gran’s baking dishes.

  “Here,” I said, walking over to the other side of the stove and opening the correct cabinet for him.

  I took out two bowls and handed them to him. “Did Rachel eat already?” I asked.

  “Rachel doesn’t eat. She drinks her calories or at least that is what she told me when I asked.”

  “Sounds like a health freak,” I joked as I got us both a soup spoon and took them to the table.

  “She’s fucking nonstop female chatter. Do I look like I want to know when she starts her period or how bad her cramps are?”

  I laughed out loud again then covered my mouth and shot him an apologetic look over my hand. He smirked and sat a bowl of chowder in front of me then set his down. “It’s funny. I know,” he said with a sigh and pulled out his chair to sit down.