Lyrics of a Small Town Read online

  Drake turned to leave then stopped. “Fuck, I came in here to get something, but I don’t remember what it was.”

  “Was it for Benji?” Rio asked.

  “Oh yeah! He needs a clean plate,” Drake replied.

  After he got a plate and left Rio, looked over at me. “He’s right about the ‘you staying inside’ thing. Just in case Saul’s in a mood when he gets here. Lily can fuck with his head.”

  “Okay,” I replied, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. Saul and his damage could be a lot to take sometimes. But then I knew I wasn’t going to walk away because of it. I had let myself get too deep. I had let my caring for him evolve into more and that was enough for me to accept him completely. Damage and all.

  Thirty-Four

  Rio took the tray of corn outside once I finished. I moved to the living room, pulled a book up on my phone, and found a spot on the sofa. I was barely on chapter three when I heard the front door close. I finished the page and then looked up just as Saul walked into the room. His gaze found mine. He didn’t smile, but he didn’t break our gaze as he walked down the stairs and over to me.

  When he reached me, he stopped and held out his hand. I put the phone down and reached out mine. Hs fingers wrapped around my hand and he pulled me up and against his chest. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and we stood there like that silently for several moments.

  I put my arms around him and held him because it seemed to be what he needed. He inhaled deeply and I wished he would tell me what all he had dealt with today. I wanted to be here for more than sex. I wanted to listen and be here for him to vent to. He needed to talk about things more. I just had no idea how to get him to do it.

  “This is good,” he said against my neck then lifted his head and straightened.

  “Bad day?” I asked, already knowing the response I would get.

  “Yeah,” was all he said, just like I expected. “But you always make it better.”

  That was why I would stay. That was why I wouldn’t give up and walk away. He had me. I had never been one that wanted to fix what was broken. I normally ran from things I didn’t understand. Saul was different. I wanted to be different for him.

  “Were you reading?” he asked me.

  “Yes.”

  He kissed my forehead. “Sorry I was late.”

  “It’s okay. This sofa is comfortable,” I replied.

  He grinned then and looked out the windows behind me at the party going on outside. “If you want to go out there we will. I’ll even be good if you want to swim. But if you would rather go up to my room, that’s an option.”

  Being alone with him after this day was all I wanted. “What would we do up there?” I asked playfully.

  He ran his hand over my butt and slapped it once. “Watch a movie, take a shower, fuck in front of the mirror in my bathroom,” he said then bent down to kiss my lips once. “I really want to bend you over my sink soaking wet from the shower and watch you come,” he whispered against my lips.

  “Okay,” I agreed.

  He smiled again. “Come on.”

  I picked up my phone and he took my hand to pull me toward the stairs.

  “Y’all leaving?” Drake asked and Saul turned to look back at him.

  “Yeah,” he replied.

  “At least you’re in a good mood,” Drake said with a drunken grin.

  Saul ignored him and we headed to his room. Drake forgotten.

  As soon as the door closed behind us, Saul locked it. “I fucking missed you,” he said, turning back to me, his eyes already heated. My body trembled with anticipation. There were many things that I worried about with us but sex was not one of them.

  “Strip,” he said, his eyes traveling down my body.

  “What?” I asked.

  His gaze shot back up to meet mine. “Strip for me.”

  Okay. This was new. The idea obviously excited him. It was clear on his face. I reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head.

  “Drop it,” he said.

  So I did. I dropped the shirt on the floor then went for the buttons on my shorts. When I pushed them down over my hips and wiggled until they fell, his eyes widened slightly. I kicked them to the side then reached up to unhook my bra.

  When it fell free, I slid it off my arms and let it drop to the floor and join my shirt.

  “God, I love your tits,” he said as he stared at them. My body flushed with desire.

  I finished by taking off my panties and then I was bare in front of him. He stood there, not touching me, only looking. When his eyes made their way back to mine, a slow wicked grin appeared on his face.

  “I’m going to bathe you. Every part. Slowly,” he said then stepped forward and grabbed my waist. He picked me up and walked backward toward the bed. “Then I am going to fuck you in front of the mirror.” He tossed me back onto the mattress and began taking off his clothes. “But first I have to be inside you. I can’t wait any longer.”

  He crawled on top of me and I opened my legs as he lowered himself between them. Our gazes locked as he pressed his erection against me. He inhaled sharply. “You’re already wet,” he said and then slowly eased into me.

  I whimpered with pleasure as he took his time until he was completely inside. He looked down at me and his breathing was hard and fast. He began to slowly ease out then sink deeper until he had a rhythm. I lifted my hips to meet each thrust. I didn’t close my eyes. I didn’t want to look away from him.

  The orgasm that hit me came so fast I hadn’t felt it building. Arching my back, I cried out his name and clung to his arms. Wave after wave crashed over me. Each jolt more pleasure than the last. I said his name over and over, delirious from the most unbelievable experience in my life.

  “GGGAAAAAHHHH!” Saul shouted and he pulled out of me. I wanted to watch him, but my body was weak and I couldn’t manage to open my eyes just yet. He groaned again then his body came over mine, turning on his side and pulling me with him.

  We lay there wrapped in each other’s arms as our breathing slowed. “Henley,” he whispered against the top of my head, but he said no more. He ran his fingers over my arm, causing goosebumps to cover them. Pressing my face against his chest, I fought the urge to say things that I couldn’t say yet. Things I wasn’t sure of and that I feared may be simply from the moment we just had. Emotion wasn’t something I always trusted. It could affect reality. I kissed his chest then tilted my head back to look up at him.

  There were things I was certain of though. Like I would do just about anything he asked of me. I wanted to make him smile always. And that being with Saul made me feel a way nothing or no one else ever had. I had loved Will but I realized now it had been a young love and a first love. We had never known what it was like with anyone else. I would always miss Will and love him. But feeling guilty for what I felt now with Saul was pointless. My life was moving on and it was supposed to.

  Later, when we were asleep after showering and having hot sex in front of the mirror where he cursed and said naughty things that drove me to an orgasm, I would go to sleep thinking of him simply saying my name and wondering if he had wanted to say more.

  Thirty-Five

  Over the next two days, I managed to get several of my recipes written down with the proper measurements. It took a few trial runs, but I figured them out. Hillya was excited to start testing them herself and I was looking forward to not waking up at four to bake on my days off. Emily had spent more time asking me questions about my life during our down times. Now that she knew we were related, she was curious about my mom and my past.

  When I arrived at work in the mornings, it felt different. Hillya and I had a connection and it was if I had always been part of the family. They treated me that way at least. I had never had extended family before and it was nice. I realized that not having cousins had been s
omething I missed out on as a child.

  Saul had to wake up early on Wednesday to take Lily to another doctor’s appointment and then to an AA meeting. I decided that today was the day I would finish Gran’s list. I had put off doing the last thing simply because I feared it would be a closure I wasn’t ready for just yet. But having Hillya, Emily, and Rio in my life gave me a sense of family that made finishing Gran’s request easier.

  I didn’t want to think about summer ending and leaving here, but July had arrived and summer was halfway over. Going back to Chattanooga now seemed impossible for me but then it also meant not finishing my senior year at college and starting a life here. Saul never brought up the future and I wondered if that was just something he was prepared for- my leaving.

  The last request on the list was simple, which meant it could end with a life-changing revelation. I no longer walked into these tasks on Gran’s list blinded. I was ready for anything. At least I told myself I was.

  I pulled my car into the driveway of a white house that had to have been built in the seventies. It had the structure that had been popular only during that decade of bad style and fashion. The slanted roof at strange angles and long skinny windows had never been attractive to me. Reaching over, I picked up the box of Southern Women cookbooks that Gran had collected. There were some over sixty years old. Whoever Betty was, she would be inheriting this collection of the south’s best fried foods, pies, grits, and jello molds. Lucky her.

  Carrying the box, I made my way up the drive and sat it down so I could ring the doorbell. I heard a dog begin barking and a woman talking to it like a child before the door swung open. When the smiling face met mine, I recognized Betty. She had been at the church on the day I took Gran’s clothing.

  She had been the one to give me the lemonade and cookies. I hadn’t expected to see her again. Gran must have been close to Betty. I was glad I had taken the cookies and lemonade from her that day.

  “Henley!” Betty said, beaming at me. “I have been expecting you.”

  That was not the response I had been anticipating.

  “You have?” I asked, wondering what it was Gran had led me into this time. I should have known something that sounded simple wouldn’t be.

  Betty nodded and bent down to hush the barking dog again. “I’m sorry about Goldi. She gets excited about company. Won’t harm a fly though but then she’s not much bigger than one,” she told me.

  I had to agree. Goldi was a tiny white fluff ball. I wasn’t sure what kind of dog she was, but she looked more like a tiny stuffed bear than anything.

  Betty opened the screen door. “Come on in and you can leave those cookbooks right there by the stairs. I will get into those later. Will give me something to do other than watch television tonight,” she said.

  I did as I was told then followed Betty and the tiny fluff that was Goldi into the next room.

  “Let me see, I have it right over here,” she said, looking over at a large bookcase full of anything but books. There was every sort of porcelain figurine you could imagine. It seemed that angels and birds were her favorite. There were more of them than anything else. Scattered amongst the figurines were picture frames. Many of children, some graduation photos, a few beach pictures, and then a black and white wedding photo.

  “Here it is!” Betty exclaimed and picked up a small flat box. “I pulled it out of the closet just last week, figuring you would be here soon to get it.”

  I wasn’t here to get a box, but she held it out to me, still smiling with the perfect white teeth that could only be dentures.

  “Did you do it all then?” Betty asked me.

  “Uh,” I replied, not sure what she was asking.

  “The list,” she replied then bent to pick up Goldi who had stopped with the barking but was now running circles around Betty’s and my legs. She knew about the list. I hadn’t known Gran told anyone about it.

  “Yes. This was the last thing I needed to do,” I told her.

  “Did you learn anything?” she asked then kissed Goldi’s head as the pup licked at her face.

  “Oh, yes. I learned quite a lot,” I replied.

  Betty chuckled then. “I guess you did.”

  I looked down at the box she had given me. “What’s this?” I asked since she seemed to know so much about things.

  Betty shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s sealed and I wasn’t told to open it. Just to give it to you.”

  “Okay, well, thank you,” I said.

  Betty nodded her head. “You’re welcome and anytime you want, the church doors are open for you.”

  I wasn’t going to church, but I didn’t tell her that. “I need to get going,” I said. “it was nice seeing you again.”

  Betty put Goldi down on floor again. “You drive careful and I hope it all works out,” she replied. Then walked back to the door and opened it for me.

  “Uh, thanks,” I said, not sure what it was that she was referring to.

  Goldi went back to barking as I made my way to the car. When I opened my door, I looked up to see Betty still standing there. She waved at me and I lifted my hand and waved back before getting in the car.

  On the drive back, I glanced at the box several times, wondering what was inside and if I was ready for whatever Gran had left me. I was a mixture of anxiety, curiosity, and nervousness when I finally walked into the house with the box.

  Putting it on the counter, I stared at it. “What is this about, Gran?” I asked aloud.

  Sighing, I opened the box and there were three envelopes. The one on top said “Henley.” I picked it up and broke the seal. Sliding out the handwritten letter inside, I prepared myself for whatever I was about to read. Seeing Gran’s handwriting always made my chest hurt a little. Knowing she had written this for me made it more difficult. I unfolded the paper slowly and took a deep breath.

  Henley,

  I hope that by now you know all I wanted you to know. Things you should have known all along, and people you should have had in your life. I made a mistake keeping them from you. I did what I thought I had to do. Your mother had already proven to me that she would take you away. I couldn’t lose you again.

  Now I am gone and all those fears are gone with me. But I didn’t leave you alone did I? Hillya is a good woman and I am thankful she’s there for you. I couldn’t have chosen a better grandmother for you other than me of course. She deserves some joy. She has lived many years with none. You, my girl, are a complete joy and I know she will find a reason to enjoy life again with you in it.

  As for your brother, that is a regret that may stay with me even in the grave. That boy had a hard go of it for a long time. You are a gift to him more than he is to you. He has no father or mother, but he has a sister and I reckon that makes things better.

  In this box are two more envelopes. One is the deed to this house. I imagine your mother wasn’t happy to hear from my lawyer that my will would be revealed at a certain time. Now is that time. My lawyer, Roger, will be contacting you soon. Betty will have called him by now. He’s her oldest son.

  The deed to the house has been left to you along with my stocks and savings. It is up to you to sell the house or live in it. I know you have a home back in Chattanooga. I also know that you have been lost for quite some time. Trying to find your fit in this world. If you’ve found your way in The Shores then stay. If my small town isn’t the one for you then sell my house, take the money, and go find your town.

  In the other envelope is a letter to your mother and a key to my safety deposit box. What is in it is what I left for her. When you are ready, give it to her and she can do with it what she may.

  You have now met the people I cared for in that town the most. Lily, Wanda, Keerly and Betty all were special to me. Don’t forget them. Take time, if you can, to visit them. Lily is so broken I worry she’ll always be. A friend is all she needs. Wan
da loves homemade lemon cookies and to talk about the past. Keerly is special and in time I believe that you will understand why, and Betty has been my closest friend since I was a young woman.

  As you go on with the rest of your journey that we call life, know you were loved by your gran and cherished. I adored you from the moment you took your first breath. I was so proud of you. I want you to have a full life. One with love, happiness, and family. But I also want you to always be there to help others. See them when they are down and do your best to pick them up.

  Serving others is the best medicine this life can give you.

  One last thing, if you do fall in love with him please go slowly. Be careful. Trust your gut and know not all things are easy. Damaged things can become beautiful if they’re placed in the right hands. Loving someone isn’t always what we need but what they need.

  Love you always,

  Gran

  I wiped at my tears and put the letter down on the counter.

  Thirty-Six

  I wasn’t ready to tell my mother about Gran’s letter. I wasn’t ready to tell Saul either. I needed time to think. True to Gran’s list, this wasn’t a twist I saw coming. Leaving here had been my plan because I hadn’t known there would be another option. Mom had told me when I was done with this summer, she would be putting the house up for sale. She had also threatened poor Roger with getting a lawyer of her own and getting Gran’s will.

  That would have been a waste of money for her since the house wasn’t something she could fight for. My mom wasn’t going to be happy about the fact it was left to me along with the money Gran had saved and invested. That was a confrontation I didn’t want to deal with right now. I had my life to work out first.

  I put the letter back in the box and tucked the box in the closet. This was all something I would deal with, just not today. Possibly not this week.

  When I walked back into the living room, the door opened and Saul walked inside.